It’s the eve of the season, the day he’s awaited.
If he does all that he’s anticipated,
He’ll bring home a trophy, a one-of-a-kind,
He’s rehearsed it time and again in his mind.
“Well, tomorrow’s the big day, so Honey if you please,
Fix my huntin’ pants there’s a tear in both knees.
My vest needs a new tie string, but otherwise it’s fine.
But you can fix it for me if you have time and don’t mind.
I think I’ve checked everything. Oh, yeah, there’s my gun,
While I go the bathroom, will you get it out, Hon?
And while you’re in there will you take out my shells?
You’ve moved them so often, you know them well.
Now, let’s see, oh yes have you seen my cap, dear?
I just know that last year I left it right here.
One more thing, my coat pocket has a hole in it.
Will you mend it too? It will only take a minute.
Now let’s get to bed; remember, call me at four.
I want to be up early, and out the door”!
The clock sounds, he’s called by a dutiful wife,
He said, “It’s so dark out, just call me at five”.
Wait a whole hour, but there’s plenty to do
Put out a load of laundry or two.
Clean off the table from the night before,
Straighten the living room, sweep all the floors.
Go call him again, more coffee to fix
But he only grunted, “Oh call me at six”.
Called one hour later, from the foot of the bed,
He just snuggled down further and shook his head.
He was dreaming of deer, counting points, now eleven,
By the time he was awakened, it was five after seven.
He jumped out of bed and looked all around
“Mama, find my boots” was his next uttered sound.
“Have you seen my long johns? Where is my shirt?
Don’t trip over that huntin’ stool, you’ll fall and get hurt.
I laid my huntin’ knife on that table right there
I know it has to be around here somewhere.
Did you make some coffee? Pour me a cup
Fix me a sandwich to go, and fill my thermos up.
I need some breakfast, just fry me an egg,
But first, help me pull down this other pants leg.
Honey, get me a hanky, hand me my socks.
Oh, yeah, and a cooler shirt, just in case it gets hot.
I can’t imagine where my orange slicker could be
And honey, do you know where I put my truck key?
Now, sweetheart, a few dollars before I go”.
Tho where it’s spent in the woods, no wife ever knows
“Now I’ve got it together, so just wish me luck.
And while I eat would you run out and crank up the truck?
I’ve got all I need right down to the letter,
And only one thing could have started this day better.
I could have organized this stuff and been ready, you know
If only you’d called me three hours ago”!
