Things are going great, you have met a wonderful guy and the two of you have been inseparable. You have a lot in common, you laugh together, have great discussions and feel the same way about so many things. He may be the one. You hope he is, but one thing has been nagging you, and with each passing day of spring the nagging gets a little louder.
Summer is coming, which means barbeques and festivals, which you love, but it also means pool and beach parties which you hate, because you think your butt should have it’s own zip code and your arms could be used as floatation devices for small children.
If you hate how you look in a bathing suit why won’t he? The question looms: will he dump you when he sees your beach body?
Chances are, no. If he loves who you are and you don’t make a big issue of it, he may not even notice things that you believe are insurmountable flaws. Drawing attention to your shortcomings is the first step to relationship sabotage in a lot of cases but no more so than when you consistently draw his eyes to the one part of you that you don’t like.
Here are steps to minimize the damage that most women do to their self-esteem with the first days of summer.
1. Buy a suit that fits! Don’t buy the first cute suit you see. It may be adorable on the mannequin or a model, but it’s made to fit that body type! Take a whole day at least to try on many suits and find one that flatters. (Remember fitting room mirrors are terrifying to everyone, so expect to look bad going in to minimize the shock.) Take a trusted friend along for a second opinion and sort through as many suits as you can to find one that satisfies you.
2. Take care of your skin. Starting NOW do a daily rubdown on your thighs, arms, and lower stomach. The motion and friction will draw cleansing blood to the problem areas to tighten skin and smooth cellulite and bumps. Use a lotion that smells great to pamper yourself.
3. Diet. It’s never too late to give it a shot. Ask your doctor which one is best for you, make sure you are getting the proper nutrition and water and change what you can.
4. DON’T compare yourself to other women. Everyone is built differently. Your guy chose you because of who you are inside. That woman with the perky bottom may be selfish, boring, or addicted to unhealthy things. Value who you are and the reasons he loves you.
5. Camouflage! Spray tan makes a difference. Ghostly white skin draws attention at the beach or pool and when it turns bright red, even more so. Get your skin ready to be seen and always wear sunscreen.
6. shorts! If you really have problems that you can’t accept, cover them with a pair of adorable khakis or cut offs.
7. Although this is the final tip, it is by far the most important:
EMBRACE YOUR SHAPE! One of the most adorable people I ever met at a pool party was a girl who weighed over 200 pounds. She was so much fun and so seemingly oblivious to her size that she constantly had a group of people around her. Many of them were men! Self consciousness is unattractive on everyone. All people are uncomfortable around someone who is obviously worried about something. Have fun and he will be proud to be with you!
Please understand that love is not rational. Your mate may actually love that one of your breasts is bigger than the other. He may love the shape of your arms or the size of your butt. Don’t assume that your mate is shallow. You’re not judging him, so why would he have a reason to judge you? Get out there and enjoy your summer together!
