Are you a hypocrite? C’mon be honest. Do you expect others to abide by rules you don’t follow? Do you put your spouse on a pedestal, expecting that while you indulge in your juvenile, foolish habits that he/she should somehow rise above your hurtful behavior? Do you delude yourself and try to delude your spouse with phrases like, ‘well, honey, it’s just that I think so highly of you, admire your patience, think you are such a strong person, unlike me…’
Guess what chum, you’re busted. You’re not putting him/her on a pedestal because you admire him/her. You are doing it to excuse your own behavior. You are attempting to give yourself carte blanche to act as you wish. And if your spouse or partner steps or falls off that pedestal, in your eyes, you will have ammunition to punish him/her. You fancy yourself downtrodden, put up, the eternal victim. You like the sound of your own voice, bemoaning your own inadequacy. You wear your depression, self-abasement, false modesty like a sword. You cut people down with if they don’t pity you and make excuses for you. In reality, all this modesty about you being so weak, such a failure is just a smoke screen for your laziness and selfishness.It’s what Blessed Mother calls a spiritual poverty, ‘that others must suffer so that you may live as you wish’.
But it all exists in your twisted little mind. In the real world, it doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to set up the rules for other peoples’ behavior and then act as inappropriately as you wish. Chances are better that, in the real world, where adults live, you will follow the rules to the best of your ability and get punished for your pains. In the real world, people pay their taxes, obey the traffic laws, love their children, feed their pets and still get undeserved parking tickets. It happens. Get over it. You aren’t entitled to a one way, all expenses paid, worry-free journey through life. No one is.
You see, friend, what goes around comes around. The measure you use to measure others will be used on you. Jesus said, ‘he who lives by the sword will die by the sword’. That was a physical and metaphorical reference. What you live by, what behaviors you engage in, what vices and habits you indulge in, well, that’s just what you are going to get in return. If you take without giving, word will get around the playground and the other kids will not want to play with you. You get out of life, and relationships, what you put in. If you give lemons expect sour responses. If you give anger, expect anger in return. If you sow anger and discord, you will reap misery and anxiety. And so will everyone you live with.
For more plain talk on relationships and emotional health, visit me at www.emotionalhealthhelp.blogspot.com and www.onintimacy.blogspot.com.