Some of you may be wondering, ‘What the heck is cheese curd’? Others may be from dairy country, such as upstate New York or Wisconsin and know exactly what I’m talking about. Others may think cheese curd is that fried breaded crap they have at Kentucky Fried Chicken. FYI, it’s not at all the same thing. It’s not even close. The picture you see here is Minnesota cheese curd. It’s dry and yellow. Even Wisconsin cheese curd doesn’t compare to New York cheese curd. Sorry, Wisconsin, I know you are famous for your cheeses but your cheese curd is just not up to par as far as I’m concerned. Upstate New York has you beat on this one. Oh, and for those of you who think New York City is New York State defined, well, that’s a different beast altogether. Most of New York State is small towns and dairy farms. New York City is just a dot at the bottom of the map of New York State where true Upstate New Yorkers rarely go. Never been there!
What the Heck is Cheese Curd?
Cheese curd is newly formed, fresh today, cheese morsels, before they are pressed together to make a wheel of cheese. They are solid but soft. Not soft like cream cheese but fresh soft. They squeak in your mouth when you eat them. They are squishy, buttery, salty and delicious. They are fattening, addicting and absolutely impossible to stop eating. They are not coated in bread crumbs and fried. ( Oh the sacrilegious horror!) They are always eaten the day they are are made or the day after. They are never refrigerated. (Perish the thought!) They are a God among foods, a whisper on the tongues of many, the reason all of Upstate New York rushes to the cheese factory outlet on Tuesday and Thursday of every week. They are the mighty Upstate New York cheese curds.
Dressing Them Up
But wait, they are not addicting enough. Some ingenious cheese factory employee has seen fit to tantalize your taste buds even more. You can buy cheese curds plain and they are awesome! You can also buy these fresh delightful sensations in flavors. That’s right, some wonderful person came up with an even better way to enjoy cheese curd from Upstate New York. What they do is toss the fresh cheese curd in several different varieties of herbs and spices. My favorite are the red pepper (I believe it’s cayenne) and the Italian. Oh my God, my mouth is watering, literally watering! But I can’t have any cheese curd from Upstate New York. Do you know why?
It’s the Freshness
What makes Upstate New York cheese curd so delectable is it’s freshness. You can’t ship this stuff, even overnight. ( I live in Colorado now! ) Many have tried, even in overnight delivery, but herein lies the rub. Laws require that fresh foods be refrigerated in transport. Cheese curd bites the big one in refrigeration. It just isn’t the same. It just becomes regular cheese. I don’t want regular cheese. I want delicious, delectable, melt in your mouth, squeaky, salty Upstate New York cheese curd. But all is not lost. I have a plan. I’m sending one of my relatives some money. They can get those little envelopes the post office has. They can tuck my Upstate New York cheese curd safely inside. Nobody will know it’s food. They can send it overnight delivery. I will pay, God knows I will pay for the wonderful stuff! There’s only one problem. When it gets here, how do I hide it from everyone else?
Please Note: If any of my family members are reading this, please take pity on me and send me some cheese curd. Mass quantities if possible. It’s been three years! Help!!!!!!!!