This current season of American Idol is quickly drawing to a close, and the spotlight will soon be turned out on Simon Cowell forever. Ratings have shown that the number of viewers for the show are quickly decreasing. Although no one has explained the reason for the decline, common sense would indicate that part of the reason is because the world cannot imagine an American Idol without Cowell. Adam Lambert has already been chosen to replace Simon, but would he have the same draw? Most of you would agree that he does not. So, in an effort to bring more people to American Idol and recover those who have left the show’s fold, we have gathered a list of five names that Fox should consider instead of Lambert.
Donald Trump- True, The Donald already has his own show, but he may agreeable to branching out into another market. Sure, he may have to shell out several million dollars to start his own record label to sign winners to, but once his accountants and analysts show him the figures, I feel he’d be ready to jump onboard. The format to show would have to change, however, to make it work for Trump. Before America could vote, each performer would have to present a business prospectus to show how they would market their talent after they finished performing their song of the week. After that, the votes would be tallied, and Trump would get to coin a new term for the loser: “You’ve been dropped.”
The Phillie Phanatic- You may be thinking ‘Ok, this is a stretch’, but let me point out the benefits. First, anyone who lives in the Delaware Valley area knows who the Phanatic is and loves the big green furball. Also, amongst baseball mascots, the Phanatic is listed as one of the most recognizable and most popular mascots. So this move alone would bring in at least several million viewers for the first couple of episodes. To keep the draw going, each week, during poor performances by artists, the Phanatic would get out from behind the desk and do something wild and zany to take the contestant off the stage. Imagine someone murdering Aerosmith’s ‘Dream On’ while the Phanatic drives back and forth across the stage on a motorcycle. As the song reaches its apex, the Phanatic would make one final turn on stage, grab the offending singer, and carry them off the stage, never to be seen again. Or, if the performer did exceptionally well, the Phanatic can jump from the judge’s table and tackle the singer to tackle them with hugs in the way he knows how.
Bobby Knight- America’s most hated college basketball coach comes out of retirement to be a judge on American Idol. He would definitely bring the harsh words that Simon would have to offer. As an added benefit, if the crowd doesn’t like his decision, Knight can storm off the stage while throwing chairs around in his wake. A sharp tongue and violence- two main draws for any form of American entertainment.
Martha Stewart- This move would swing the balance of the judges table to the side of the women. However, the mix would help level out the estrogen that would be present. Ellen DeGeneres presents her statements in as loving and caring a way as possible. She represents the stereotypical mother that everyone in the neighborhood loves. Martha, however, would be able to bring that edge to the conversation that any well to do soccer mom would have. The Kmart crowd would come flocking to the show, to get any fashion or home tips Martha may have, and the curious observer would turn to the show to see Martha rip into a poor performance.
Gordon Ramsey- This would be the best move, overall, for Fox to take. First, America loves British people. Second, America loves British people with attitudes. Gordon provides both. Not only would he tell the performer that that was the ‘biggest load of crap’ he had ever heard, he would then jump up on stage and show the crooner how the song should have been sung. After that, he would give a demonstration of how to make some blueberry crepes and lemon-glazed salmon, making home cooks around the world hate him for how easy he makes cooking look.