So, I’m standing in line at some fast food restaurant where I intend on eating the day’s lunch. Because I am a truck driver, this sort of meal is often far too common and why we truck drivers look like this. But with that aside, I only had five dollars in my pocket, which is another reason I was in line for fast food. After all, I doubted I could achieve much in terms of caloric intake at the Red Lobster with that much money. Some crackers, perhaps, but only then if I convinced them I was that dull and they felt sorry for me. Otherwise, I would likely be on my own and out the door.
Okay, I have my five dollars and I’m at the counter where I’ll order super cheap (yes, even for this place) because I need to get at least one dollar back. Why? I needed a buck for something I intended to get a little later on that day. It doesn’t really matter what I planned to do with the dollar, but I’ll give you a hint and tell you some refer to it as the sucker tax.
So, I get my lunch, which is a delectable culinary combination of flavors and comfort unlike anything else one can get for such a price, and then go to the beverage station where I’ll gather my drink lid, fill my cup with ice, and obtain my sugary, bubbly infusion of mysterious flavors and ingredients. There, I also placed my dollar and receipt on the tray; I usually stuff this stuff in my pocket immediately, but not this time. Something I saw on the bill distracted me just enough to not pocket the dough, but set it aside until I could check out what was stamped on the bill.
I found a seat, unwrapped the thing with the completely made-up name that corresponds with nothing, and looked at the dollar I received as change. There, on the back side of the bill, where we’re normally inundated with secretive, subliminal messages and symbols of the Illuminati, I saw stamped in Victory Red the following words: Track this bill at www.wheresgeorge.com.
Directly on the front, directly above where it says Federal Reserve Note, was stamped: Enter series and serial number at www.wheresgeorge.com. Then, off to the left of the front side of the note, printed in blue is the following claim: Currency Tracking Project.
Almost immediately, I was quite intrigued. Not so intrigued that it interfered with my lunch, since I polished that off with the verve displayed by those dogs eating that dry, flavorless trash pumped out by any particular BS company claiming to give a damn about your dog by making something so good. If there stuff was so good, my dog would prefer it to what he can scrounge out of the cat litter box, but such is not the case. Anyhow, I was intrigued enough to forego millions of dollars and the opportunity to achieve financial independence and buy a Peterbilt 387. Rather than pursue the life of Reilly by purchasing the lottery ticket I was sure would really change my life this time, I stuffed the bill in my pocket and kept it there until I had the opportunity to get online and check out this site.
After all, this was the opportunity to participate in a currency tracking project keeping tabs on an official Federal Reserve Note, which I was sure was important and momentous. Well, as it turns out, not so much. Once I got to the site and registered, and then entered my bill, I discovered…not very much was earth-shattering at all. Only one other had traced this particular bill and only from a neighboring town. Essentially, I needed to get this poor bill back in the cycle, and preferably far, far away.
I am a truck driver. I can do that.
But I was still intrigued with the site, so I decided to peruse the FAQ page and see just what the hubbub was all about. It turns out that this is not a significant feat of heroism, but something created just for fun and, like it says on the site, because it’s never been done before. Those guys over there at Where’s George are crazy wild dudes! Anyway, I was subtly surprised to see that this site’s been out there since the holiday season of 1998. They used to sell official Where’s George? rubber stamps, but those apparently were too crazy for this world, so they stopped with that lunacy. Now, they recommend you go to a place where you can have a stamp made. I recommend a location where the employees won’t fight a smirk when you place your order and explain what it’s for.
I could go on and on with all the insane details I learned about on the FAQ page, but I’ll just simply mention that there are presently 43 questions on the FAQ page. It seems that out of all the far-out people out there entering their bills and having them tracked on this site, they’re asking so many questions that those crazy wild site guys had to narrow it down to the top 43 questions, because they have things to do. Hey, they have bills to track.
But don’t get your undies in a wad, because there is a page where you can purchase exciting merchandise! You can get t-shirts, license plate frames for your automobile, and even Where’s George stuff done up in a Vegas-style motif! I tell, ya, these guys are insane! They have mugs, BBQ aprons, clocks, and so much more! Coasters, mouse pads, magnets, and tote bags. They have arcane stickers with so little but so much, with their little picture of the father of our country next to this: WG?
Dear readers, I am sure that I’ve convinced you of what you simply must do. You need to go down to a place where you can get a simple stamp made to say what’s said above, or you can be super cheap and just pen it on there. Do this with all your money (paper, please) and keep tabs of where it goes around this great nation. Then, get yourself a truckload of WG merchandise and be the life of the party. Yes, enter all your bills and be amazed for the rest of your life.