Whatever our age is, and wherever we are in our spiritual growth; we all have in common that we have a past. We don’t all share the same past and we don’t all have the same work to do on ourselves; but chances are we have some behavior or past action that continues to haunt us. For me there are lots of things. But there is one particular instance where I showed poor judgment during my high school years and I have one relative who will inevitably bring it up at the most inopportune time. Do we ever get to escape our past mistakes?
Apparently for a long time I have been the product of a series of unfortunate happenings that shaped me into a bitter, angry, jealous, judgmental and difficult person to be around. I’m sure I am being too hard on myself, but I let some past hurts cause me to be hurtful to others. I sometimes think that I became the person I was to avoid further hurt. If I could run people off before they hurt me then I wouldn’t have to deal with that stuff anymore.
Problem is, I was running away people who I wanted to have stick around. It seemed so difficult to turn off my bad behavior and act right. So, I began putting my faith in the one place where I knew I was looked on favorably.
Father God doesn’t hold a grudge against me. He knows what I am capable of because he put it in me. I started to believe that he wouldn’t put me to a task without giving me a way to succeed.
Yet on my way to becoming a positive, encouraging, uplifting person; I am finding the road is filled with more potholes than my self-confidence and self-doubt. As much as we want to be changed and make lasting changes, we have to remember the people who know us also know our past failures and flaws. They don’t always believe we are changing or that we can make lasting change.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and people will have theirs. Remember that God believes in you even when others don’t. Have faith and gain strength from knowing that.
You have to be able to tell people that you understand their skepticism, but you are making a change for you. Whether they believe you are fully changed or not, keep persevering. With time and experience, they will see by your future actions and new behavior that you are what you are.
We all have the opportunity to change, but that doesn’t mean the way will be easy. Being a person who harbored ill will because of others’ past actions, I understand how easy it is for someone to doubt us.
“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
Day 60 – Turning The Pointed Finger Inward
Bible Gateway – Philippians 4:13