“It’s not all about you.” Ever heard this one? I have heard this one frequently and it is usually preceded by my trying to impose my will on my husband. I am still working on being submissive and leading by example in my marriage, and at times I just want to stomp my feet and have things go my way.
You know why I say it should be all about me now? Because I know now that it is not my job to change my husband. Nor is it my place to tell him what he is doing wrong and why he needs to change. That’s for God to do. “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the Word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” 1 Peter 3:1
This is what I am supposed to be doing. Being submissive and having the behavior that will win over my husband. So, yes, it is all about me. I can’t focus fully on being the wife and person I am supposed to be if I am honing in on his faults and flaws. Is nagging about any of his behaviors changing them? Usually not, and if it is, then it is only a temporary change.
So my attention has to be on me. It has to be all about me when I am trying to bring change into my life. Which brings me to how I should be walking in love when trying to affect this changes. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us what love is. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes always perseveres.”
So right there is your guide to everything you need to do when you are working on yourself and trying to improve your marriage. Is it going to be easy? Probably not. Love always trusts. Yet if you have been lied to even once, or worse, repeatedly; it is difficult to trust. But still, that is what we are to be doing. Because it is not about them. You can’t make them stop lying; but you can fulfill God’s desire for you to be submissive and lead by your actions; which in this case, is to trust. Don’t let someone else’s wrong doing make you do something wrong. Do what is right regardless. Then there is no fault with you.
About every scenario can be answered with one of the qualities of love. Husband is a procrastinator and is driving you crazy because he can’t get it in gear? Love is patient. You are so aggravated you just want to snap his head off? Love is kind. It is not easily angered. There you go, a two-for-one deal.
Our marriages are the one relationship that we are supposed to remain in even when someone is not treating us as they should. Instead of trying to change them, work on yourself. You are the only one you have control of. You can’t control what others do, but you can control how you respond and react to them.
“When looking for faults, use a mirror, not a telescope.” – Unknown
Day 66 – The Importance Of Moderation For Christians
Day 65 – The Fruit We Should Be Cultivating
Bible Gateway, Scripture Quotations
Think Exist – Faults Quote