Going on a spiritual journey will mess with your head, because you will encounter a lot of changes. This is ultimately a good thing, because if things stay still, they tend to decay. This is true for water, for bodies and for your spirituality.
But some of the roads you must travel during a spiritual journey are extremely rough. You will not have a map – and any maps you do get are usually long out of date. Going on a spiritual journey is akin to being a knight in King Arthur ‘s court going on the Grail Quest, except that this quest never ends.
My Personal Journey
When I devoted myself to what I call the Path (eclectic witchcraft), I asked for wisdom. Hey, it worked for King Solomon , didn’t it, so why not me? At the time, I did not feel in control of any aspect of my life, didn’t know what I was put on Earth for and was also suffering from major depression. When I made my commitment to the Path, I was in the bathtub. Being in hot water turned out to be an apt metaphor for my spiritual journey.
Nearly ten years later, I have been through (literally) hell and high water. I had a breakdown due to depression and a painful unrequited love for British singer songwriter Peter Gabriel. (Please note that I hold Peter Gabriel in no way responsible for my personal problems. During a spiritual journey, you’ll discover that you have no one to blame for your mistakes except yourself.)
I fell in love with a homeless English busker and ran away from my home in America to be with him. I transferred all of the love I had for Peter Gabriel to the busker. They both had blue eyes and could play music by ear. I was firmly convinced that this was my purpose in life. That was the whole reason I fell in love with Peter, because he would lead me to the busker! But, my Peter Gabriel-substitute turned out to be a monster. A home we made made in the beautiful woods of England was flooded out twice before he finally burnt it down.
In the aforementioned fire that burned my home-made home down, it also burnt up most of my Book of Shadows , which was handwritten and illustrated by me. A Book of Shadows is to a pagan what a Bible is to Christian, except you write it yourself over the course of years. Finding my book in ashes hurt more than discovering that my Peter Gabriel- substitute was a monster. I was never “fated” to be with my abuser. I only made myself believe that lie in order to get over Peter. But I finally figured out it was a lie.
The Book of Ashes
But why did my Book of Shadows have to burn? It was a sacred thing! Couldn’t the Gods figure that out? It was then I realized that there were no Gods or Goddesses and that could possibly care about what happened to a book or to me or to anyone else, for that matter.
Perhaps it burned because any spiritual books at the beginning or middle of your journey are irrelevant by your journey’s end. Your journey will teach you new things every day, whether they are written down or not. Your life becomes the book, not the other way around.
If you really want to live the spiritual life, it will hurt. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something. You might find out more about yourself and your God by the journey itself and not the destination. You may even loose your cherished beliefs, including belief in destinty, God, true love or any sort of benevolent Higher Power. Also, do not spurn earthly things like fresh food and proper health care. In order to make healthy decisions, you need a healthy body.
Before you seriously set out on a spiritual journey, you need to be aware that this journey might destroy and then reshape your whole world. If you can face that, then you are ready.