You know, one thing I’ve learned in the many years I’ve lived is that people are really peculiar at times. You like that word? I guess I could say strange or even nutty for that matter, but peculiar seemed like the best choice to me. Sometimes I wonder if people even understand themselves what makes them tick.
For instance, I had someone recently tell me something in confidence. She started with “Now, I don’t like to talk about people,” yet she proceeded to tell me something negative about a mutual friend. Of course, I’m thinking for someone who doesn’t like to talk about other people, you’re doing a bang-up job. And the great thing was she ended it with “You know, I’ve always thought you couldn’t trust her.” Not at all like you, I thought.
Why do some people become obsessed with vampires and zombies? I mean, it’s not like that’s a great lifestyle. Vampires drink blood which is not all that easy to come by, they have to avoid the sun and can’t see themselves in the mirror. What’s so great about that? And zombies? Isn’t it bad enough that that there are people out there roaming around on drug-fried brains already?
Why is it that people who own a vicious dog tell you he won’t bite you? You’re standing there watching this dog licking his lips, showing you his teeth and growling while the owner strains to hold the monster in place. “Oh, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Well, even though flies may be safe, I feel like he considers me his afternoon meal.
Why do people have pets that can kill them? If you raise a panther, does it not make perfectly good sense that that cat may someday decide to playfully maul you to death? I think about that lady that had the chimpanzee that tore her friend’s face off. I’ll bet her friend doesn’t think that monkey looks so cute in a diaper.
And speaking of chimps, why do we feel it necessary to teach animals to communicate when there’s still a number of people in this country who have trouble communicating? Let’s face it, there are people in this country who can’t write a complete sentence and have a vocabulary consisting of about eighteen words. What possible information can that monkey pass on to us, other than maybe what “humgowa” means when Tarzan screams it at the elephants. And besides, if I were going to pick an animal to talk to, I don’t think it would be a monkey. I’d rather hear a penguin explain to me why it takes that long trek every year in that frozen wasteland.
Why do people name their children one thing and then call them something else? I can’t quite understand why someone names their baby Margaret and then calls her Maggie. If you like Maggie, go with Maggie. And why do people get so infatuated with famous people and name their children after them? It’s not likely that the kid will ever meet them anyway.
Why do we buy dirt, grass and manure? Everywhere I look those things seem to be available. And better yet, we’ll rake leaves up which will rot and return to the ground and put them in plastic bags which will outlive all of us. Yet, we’ll faithfully put those other things in the recycle bins.
I’ve seen people buy chairs that no one is supposed to sit in, plastic flowers for their yards, and bring trees into their houses. Don’t tell me that’s not peculiar.