Now that I’ve let out my aggression on the male actors, its time I let you in on some of the women in Hollywood that drive me crazy. Despite the fact that some of these ladies have certain talents, or are even gifted, I have good reasons for occasionally wanting to b*tch-slap all of these stars.
Lindsay Lohan – this is an obvious one. Maybe her parents didn’t do the best job raising her, but she’s old enough by now to make her own decisions, and she should start taking responsibility for her actions. Sorry, there’s no excuse for that kind of behavior, and whatever talent she has is going quickly down the drain by her screwing up like this. What’s more, it just seems wrong that she appears to be getting preferential treatment, simply because she’s a Hollywood star. I certainly hope the doctors realize this girl needs help and they recommend to the judge not to let her out of rehab. As for how this makes me feel towards her – she’s lost my respect, and that’s pretty sad.
Angelina Jolie – here’s a woman with even bigger lips than Julia Roberts, and a body that only Jeri Ryan has no reason to envy. The problem is that’s about all she has – well, that and Brad Pitt along with his and her brood (which might explain some of her other erratic behavior). Yes, she was perfect as Lara Croft, but portraying a video game character in a movie should have been her highest aspiration. This is mainly because she can’t actually act well enough to stop looking like she’s a cartoon character of herself. Even her attempts to pull a ‘Hillary Swank’ aren’t succeeding, since she just doesn’t have the talent. Mind you, she almost got it right in Changeling but her performance was still stilted throughout, and her face was so stiff I wondered if she hadn’t had a huge Botox treatment before every scene. Her one redeeming feature is she makes great eye-candy for action films, and I’m sure that’s what keeps her getting the big bucks.
Holly Hunter – please, save me from the star of “Saving Grace”! This woman has a voice that’s like fingernails on a chalkboard. That harsh southern twang and nasal squeaking drives me around the bend. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with southern accents, but there’s something about it in combination with a vocal range that sounds like it comes out of an adolescent boy that becomes torture to my ears. I swear her voice cracks when she talks, and sometimes more than once in a word! Admittedly, she is a good actress, and was amazing in The Piano – but don’t forget that she played a mute in that film, so you can see why I can appreciate her performance in it. Too bad she didn’t bring that character into her TV series!
Sarah Jessica Parker – a great TV series is a great TV series and would that this very talented comedienne had realized this. Her big-screen career was less than stellar, but then her overwhelming success with the small screen “Sex and the City” made her a star, and rightly so. But all good things come to an end, and the best thing she’s done since that series was Failure to Launch. The problem is, if it hadn’t been for Zooey Deschanel that too would have been a crashing bore. She’s way too cutesy for her age, far too thin to be attractive, and was still trying to play romantic female leads after she started looking every day of being over 40. I could have forgiven her making one movie version of her TV show, but the second one – sorry, that was one step too far. If you don’t mind, I’ll tune into her TV reruns, but other than that, I’ve written her off as a serious actress. Go on Sarah, prove me wrong!
Meryl Streep – this is the one you’ve all been waiting for. What could I possibly object to about this two-time Academy Award winner who has more Oscar and Golden Globe nominations than any other actor in the history of both these prizes? Simply put – she works way too hard at her dramatic performances to make them feel natural. The late, great Katharine Hepburn said that Streep was her least favorite actress in Hollywood because, and I quote from her autobiography: “click, click, click”. Meaning, she felt you could see her brain working as she acts on screen. In other words, she simply over thinks every serious role she has, and I just can’t take that intensity any more. Thankfully, she’s been doing more comedic roles lately and this is where she truly shines, so let’s hope she keeps making us laugh, and that way, she’ll never annoy me again. Um, well… as long as she isn’t singing, that is.
So there you have it, my list of actresses who have annoyed me enough for me to go out of my way to not see them on screen (well, at least in certain films). The question is, how many of these actresses would make your list as well?
Honorable mentions go to: Denise Richards (in The World is Not Enough she played the most unconvincing nuclear physicist that’s ever been portrayed – need I say more?) and Miley Cyrus (shame on her – a girl who was idolized by young girls traipsing around like she’s in a kiddy porn movie – disgusting).