Weird pet products. Products for weird pets, or products for weird pet owners? Either way, they’re out there.
For example, Neuticles. Most dog owners accept that if you are not going to breed your dog, its better to have him neutered, still most male owners feel some sense of guilt as they drop him off at the vets on the big day. Thats fine, thats normal. What becomes weird is to empathize so strongly with your dog that you begin to worry whether he will become concerned about how he looks “back there”. Believe me, he has bigger things to worry about, but if it makes you feel weird, check out Neuticles. Neuticles are prosthetic testicular implants designed to look and feel just like the real thing. As their website claims, ” your pet is unaware that he has, in fact, been altered. With Neuticles– its like nothing ever changed. ” So if you want your dog to be a dawg but not a daddy Neuticles are the weird pet product for you!
At the other end of the scale we have the Poop Tent. It is sad to see that after 14,000 years of man and dog working together, the cumulative effect of all that selective breeding is a dog who won’t go out in the rain to pee. If you don’t find that weird, then this is the product for you! A little playhouse that protects your best friend while she does her business. The only sad part is that you can’t go in there with her to make sure everything comes out OK.
This leads us nicely into our next group of pet products for the weird. It is surely only a question of time before someone breeds pets who don’t poop at all, but until then all owners have to deal with it. Short of simply leaving it on the neighbor’s yard after dark, there are a number of ways to approach the problem, and a number of products to help.
The first approach is to catch the problem before it escapes. For cats there is the LitterKwitter, a product that trains your cat to use your toilet. I’m sorry, I accept the utility of this idea, and I know there is an army of happy users, but to open the bathroom door and have to apologize and wait for the cat to finish, that is just too weird.
Then for the dog, we have the PooTrap a Hannibal Lecter type harness device that straps on the rear end of your dog and positions a bag under his butt to catch any output. Unfortunately, you still need to deal with the bag, but as the manufacturer claims “no poops no oops”
If the PooTrap sounds too weird for you, and you have to deal with the ‘product’ on the ground, don’t worry, there’s something out there for you. Poop Freeze is an aerosol spray that freezes that pesky poop to eliminate odor and ‘forms a crusty film for easy pick up’. Or forget pick up completely and use the Turd Burglar hockey stick adapter to enable you to shoot the poop completely out of sight. Perhaps as a gift idea, you could purchase these two items together and create a whole new sport.
Other choices for play include the Humanga Stache and Humunga tongue that make sure your dog looks ridiculous even as he enjoys himself. After all who could fail to enjoy a product that gives your dog an oversized rubber tongue or a large mustache disguise as he plays. That would be just weird.