“What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.” ~Jewish Proverb
In my eyes, rumors are the root of all evil. My life is kind of like a Mad Libs book. Remember those? When there would only be a portion of the story and it was up to you to be creative and fill in the blanks.
Unfortunately, I work in an environment where people get bored easily. When I was a child I would do a Mad Libs book when I was bored. Here, they start rumors. (See the sad and pathetic connection?) Childish in nature, I am sure these people don’t even think twice before they open their mouths. Kind of like the kid who points out a women’s mustache in line at the grocery store.
But even as these rumors about me are circulating and getting more elaborate and out of control, it is everyone else I feel bad for. I feel bad for the guy who is so miserable in his own life that he feels he must make a scandal of mine. I feel bad for the girl who is so jealous of me for my looks or my confidence that she feels she must tear me down a bit. I feel bad for the people who are so pathetic and ridiculous that a huge part of their life consists of talking about me. Sure, these rumors will hurt me. I wouldn’t be human if they didn’t. But I think the people that feel the need to start and spread rumors are hurting much more then I am.
If I were a fat, middle-aged, balding guy who hated my wife and my life I would be pretty miserable as well. I would probably be so miserable that I would want to make someone else feel miserable too. I have already successfully made my wife miserable. The kids hate me. And since there is nothing more to my pathetic excuse for a life then my job (which of course makes me miserable) I think I will make someone there miserable today. It may make me feel a tad bit better about being a total and utter waste of space and oxygen. Oh, look. That guy is talking to that girl. They MUST be having a secret love affair that only I know about because i just caught them TALKING! Oh, what a scandal! People will think I am so cool for uncovering this HUGE SCANDAL!
Laugh all you want. I swear this is exactly how it happens. In hindsight it is very funny. But at the same time it is sad and pathetic, just like them.
I know who I am as a person. I know that I have morals and values. I know that I am a strong person. And the people that matter most in my life know all of this as well.
My mother calls me every Friday night to gripe at me for not going out and ‘being a kid.’
My father offers to babysit so I can go out and get some ‘grown-up time.’
My friends make fun of me because my ideal evening is staying in, wearing my favorite P.J’s, curling up with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and watching a movie. (And no, not Ben and Jerry the men, Ben and Jerry the ice cream. I can see where that one is headed. OMG did you hear that Jessica had a threesome with some guys named Ben and Jerry!)
Awfully scandalous isn’t it?