I’d start by listing some of the lyrics to Adams Sandler’s “Piece Of Sh*t Car”, though most of the lyrics aren’t very decent to write about. If you have ever heard the song, you’d know why. You can’t get too many lyrics out of the song without a swear word every other line. Still, the song makes me laugh and reminds me of a car I used to have. Actually, I’ve had the unlucky fortune to own two of the same car. How does, this happen if I don’t like the car? Well, my first husband owned a Mercury Marquis. Then after I moved to get away from a bad relationship and met my current husband, I come to notice that he had the same exact year, make, an model. They looked different on the exterior, sure. The same problems were still prevalent.
For me, the Mercury Marquis breaks down so often, I don’t even want to say how much money I put into having the first one worked on, to no avail. My ex, didn’t make matters better. He was always somehow damaging the battery. Once, he actually dropped it on the cement. Luckily, I had paid for a warranty and in dropping the battery, we were outside of Auto-zone. I was a member then and I am a member now.
The car overheated and flooded. The gas gage could never tell you the truth even if a superior being were to stand in front of it and work some magic. Seat belts in the Mercury Marquis aren’t very reliable. The brakes get to be tricky after a while. In fact my current husband had his oldest daughter in the back seat once during the winter. He tried to come to stop because the car drifted and the brakes decided they weren’t going to behave and he nearly slid into parked cars. He didn’t. The police did stop him and had to let him go. They thought he may have been under the influence.
I do recall that both vehicles had a crack in the window running along the bottom. The first one was because the hood came up while we were driving down a major road and hit the windshield. Scared the hibby-jebbies out of me. The second car had it because it was there upon purchase. So, I couldn’t say how it got there. It too, ran along the bottom.
Unlike what the song pertains, neither car had an 8-track. Though the radio didn’t work and neither did the cooling system. How could I forget that the throttle stuck more times than I care to remember?
I only rode in the last of the two Marquis cars a few times. I hate those cars with a passion. When I told my husband that he had the same vehicle as my ex, He immediately wanted to get rid of it. Mostly due to the fact that he didn’t want to have anything that reminded me of my ex. The only problems is, they do have some aspects in common. Though, don’t you think it weird that I would end up marrying men who had the same port of transportation? I’m sure this says something. I could come up with multiple answers to that. I only fear they they may be true.
We have a better vehicle now. It has broke down three times in the past three years which is less than I could say for the Mercury Marquis. Which broke down more than that in a month if I recall correctly. I have a Ford but wish I had a Chevy.
Oh, O’Doyle rules!