Please be sure to read Sabrina’s Interview Here.
Sabrina: Please allow us to introduce you to a PHENOMENAL Queen who found her true path after a broken marriage.
You and your husband divorced; how long were you married?
Me: We were married for 8 years “technically”. We married in April of 1999.
Sabrina: Did you live together before you married?
Me: We had been living together since May of 1996. We separated in May of 2007 and our divorce became legal in August of 2008.
Sabrina: Please take us inside your marriage?
Me: Because we lived together 3 years before we were married, we already felt “married”. It wasn’t quite a month after we started dating did I move in with him.
Sabrina: How old were you?
Me: I was 17.
Sabrina: Would you say you were in love?
Me: I won’t say that I didn’t love him, because I did, however I don’t know if I was ever in love with him.
Sabrina: Were there often fights?
Me: During the entire 11 years that we were together (about 7 of those years) the only communication we had was fighting. We literally drained one another out.
Sabrina: Were there ever any good times?
Me: There were a few good times.
Sabrina: Tell us about the “Good Times”
Me: Like before we had kids and when we traveled. Really he and I never gave one another a chance to get to know each other before we began our relationship.
Me: He was still legally married to his first wife for the first two years of our relationship. Not to mention the fact that I moved right in with him, taking on a wife role right away. I was a dutiful girlfriend, to say the least.
Sabrina: Do you feel as if you were too young, naïve perhaps?
Me: I was naive especially with him being 10 1/2 years older than I.
Sabrina: Did you feel compelled to marry him?
Me: Really, I married him because I felt like I needed to in order to remain in the relationship.
Sabrina: Did you ever feel guilty?
Me: I felt guilty shacking up with him. I believe that when a man and a woman can live together, they should be married.
Sabrina: When did you two separate?
Me: We were legally separated a year before we were divorced in August of 2008.
Sabrina: After the divorce what happened to you and your children?
Me: My children and I stayed here, in Louisiana, because of our Church Family. The entire separation and divorce was horrible for all four of us. I could go into brutal detail but it isn’t necessary. What’s for sure? The Lord has kept us.
Sabrina: When did you begin turning your life around?
Me: After I hit rock bottom.
Sabrina: Take us there…
Me: In 2008…I grossed $4199 for that entire year shortly after we became homeless in 2009.
Sabrina: How long were you homeless?
Me: Eight months.
Sabrina: Now you own your own business. Please tell us about it?
Me: I started my Cleaning Service in December of 2008, because there were and are no jobs here. I knew I had to do something and give it all I had. With the Lord’s help I am able to barely keep my head above the water. My ex husband doesn’t pay child support so that makes things even more hard for us.
Sabrina: You also decided to go back to College?
Me: Yes. I started college last May; which was just one month after we were given four days to move from our house.
Sabrina: Please tell our readers how we met:
Me: We met on MySpace. I just fell in love with your story about how you opened your business and what inspired it. A man should never call a woman a “B”. If he does, it better be Queen Bee with a sting baby! (Laughter) LOVE THAT!
Sabrina: What are your goals at this point in your life?
Me: When I started school, I had the intentions of majoring in IT then graduate with an Associate’s Degree. Since then I have changed my pursuit to Psychology with an emphasis on Child Development. I love children! I pray I own a homeless shelter so that I can help families in crisis. I especially have a burden for the homeless man.
Me: In a society where women, like myself, with children get so much help; there are just as many homeless men with no children who are with no help. I love reaching the lost and I love helping people in general.
Sabrina: Tell us the core of your strength?
Me: Jesus Christ is my ROCK! There is no way that I would have made it this far these past three years. I could have been put in a Psychiatric Ward and very well have lost my children, if it wasn’t for Jesus. HE is without a shadow of a doubt “The Core of all my Strength”.
Sabrina: The definition of a TOTALBEE is “Total Beauty Exuding Empowerment”, which is what you are…What does that mean to you and how does it relate to your everyday life?
Me: A woman should always be classy and know how to carry herself. One of my pet peeves is arrogant females and arrogant males. We can BEE confident and not arrogant. A true BEE loves people, especially herself, without selfishness. She is daring, yet classy. She is beautiful, starting on the inside. A true BEE carries her own weight and is loyal, faithful and truthful, starting with her husband.
If she is married; a real honey BEE loves her husband, respects and honors him. She cares for ALL of his needs, but stands confident with her own uniqueness. The Bible reads that a woman will make her husband known throughout the land so a true BEE is to brag on her husband but be wise with spending his money and still she should take time for herself and exercise independence. It all works together and I live by these words.
Sabrina: What is your empowerment advice to other women?
Me: The first thing that comes to mind for my single friends *wink* – Ladies, do not go looking for a man. Real Queen Bees want a good, hard working God fearing man who will LEAD and LOVE us. Which brings me to this point…The best place to look for a man is in the mirror. Start becoming who you want to be with then you will attract the right one. God will put him in your path.
The Bible also says that a bride is to prepare herself. In the old days, women stayed in the Bridal Chamber until her husband got all things ready. She was in there getting HERSELF ready. You want to be the best wife ever! It all starts IN YOU HONEY! BEE bold, BEE classy, BEE fun and BEE happy because nobody can BEE that for you!
Sabrina: Thanks for being in the swarm, Katy Girl…
Me: This was fun – thanks Sabrina ;) Love ya!