If Lindsay Lohan is sentenced to prison time for failing to show up to classes for those suffering from alcohol and drug addiction, she will likely face jail time and may be required to complete therapy her addiction as a prisoner. While many of her fans no doubt will be upset to see her head to jail, her estranged father believes that it is the only way to prevent her from becoming another “statistic.” However, should Lohan go to prison, her most difficult addiction to treat maybe her addiction to Twitter. She has chronicled her legal and personal troubles on line via her twitter account for many months, which allows her to stay in close contact with her fans and friends. Listed below are the top 10 ways that Lohan plans to deal with her twitter addiction while in prison:
1. She plans on writing messages on a square of toilet paper and using carrier pigeons to get these updates on Twitter each day, such as if anybody in prison punches her.
2. She plans to keep a diary full of Twitter ready statements, which are under 140 characters or less, and then plans on publishing them when she is released.
3. Plans are being made to get Lindsay a cell phone on the inside so she can Twitter about the prison food and how much she hates prison.
4. Rumors abound that Lindsay has hired a look-alike to go to bars and restaurants, get in fights with people, and then complain about it on her twitter account while she’s in prison.
5. Lindsay plans on taking writing classes to improve her Twittering skills, so that they don’t deteriorate while she’s in prison. She says that she hopes to learn a lot of new twitter slang like OMG! I’m in 4 a lng tme.
6. She has asked that she be allowed to at least read the twitters of other celebrities if she is not allowed to send tweets of her own.
7. She has offered to perform weekly recreations of her role in the “Parent Trap” movie if the warden looks the other way and let’s her go online for a couple hours each week.
8. She has asked for a special Twitter version of the board game “Scrabble” so that she can play that in prison when she gets bored.
9. She has asked that friends rent an airplane and drag banners of some of her more famous twitters over the skies of L.A. so that she stays connected to fans.
10. Her attorney have offered the court a signed waiver stating that she promises not to act for five years, as long as she is allowed to continue to twitter in prison. The judge is supposedly seriously considering her offer.
For the top ten reasons why President Obama is suing the state of Arizona, click here.