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Top Ten Things President Obama Had to Give Up as President

by itchyfish

In a recent interview President Obama lamented the fact that the secret service would not permit him to drive himself anywhere. Due to security reasons, a professional military driver is the only one certified to drive “Cadillac One” the president’s official car. However President Obama said that he was happy to be able to occasionally get to drive a golf cart. Listed below are ten other things that the president has sadly had to give up since his inauguration over a year and a half ago.

1. Bungee jumping. Secret service personnel have stated on numerous occasions that President Obama had to give up this cherished hobby that he learned in Hawaii.

2. Spam. With his political reputation on the line, his White House advisors had advised the president to not talk too much about his long time love of Spam and pineapple sandwiches. These same advisors have even recommended that the he give up eating Spam altogether though he supposedly always keeps a can in his desk in the oval office.

3. Cow tipping. Even as a law professor at Harvard, President Obama enjoyed participating in cow tipping parties held at strange locations in the middle of the night. Due to security reasons he has given up this activity, though vice president Joe Biden has expressed interest.

4. Impromptu basketball games. President Obama would, when living in Chicago, start basketball games on the weekend with anybody who had a basketball and was interested. For obvious security reasons this has officially ended, though staff admit that the president may still engage in this activity by wearing a disguise invented by the secret service.

5. As a long time ham radio aficionado, President Obama loved to talk to truckers on the road while traveling across country. Supposedly his handle was “Big Kahuna”. However, due to obvious security reasons this activity has been discontinued.

6. Late night pizza parties. Due to the president’s hectic schedule, his old routine which included late night pizza parties, where he would brainstorm political issues while watching 1950s horror movies, has come to an end.

7. Flying stunts in restored World War 2 airplanes. As a history buff, and avid reader of all things having to do with the war to end all wars, President Obama built by hand a recreation of a German fighter used in the war. He would often perform stunts when air shows were taking place in Chicago. This practice has ended, but aides say that occasionally President Obama will be allowed to land Air Force One himself with minimal guidance.

8. Solitary jogs through the park at night. Before he became a presidential candidate, President Obama used to love taking midnight runs through Hyde park in Chicago. However as president he has been restricted from doing so, though he often comments that Washington D.C. has some great parks. Supposedly, on rare occasions the secret service will transport him in beat up van marked as “Joey’s Pizza” to an undisclosed park in Maryland which is usually deserted at night for a brief jog.

9. Imported Caspian Blue Jelly Fish. This rare delicacy, which the president enjoys more than perhaps any other food, is on the endangered species list, and as the leader of the free world he has been advised to discontinue eating the flavorful seafood. He has told vice president Joe Biden that the day after he completes his second term, or is impeached, he will eat a gigantic bowl of the Russian delicacy.

10. President Obama often enjoyed “riding the rails” from one city to the next when he was in college. Though highly dangerous, he said that it gave him a chance to really experience America. Though this activity is illegal, and is actively discouraged by train operators, he and the vice president have jokingly talked about “hijacking” an AmTrak train and riding it around the country before his term is up. Sources in the White House speaking on the condition of anonymity have said that a top secret “Presidential Train Car” is being built and that is looks completely normal on the outside, but is bullet proof and is outfitted with military gear on the inside.

For the top ten surprising wedding gifts given to Chelsea Clinton, click here.

Sources:

Obama has access to nuke launch codes, longs to drive

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