Although the United States, and many other countries around the world, are trying to get their budgets in order, a new claim for restitutions for the Korean War made by North Korean strong man Kim Jong-Il made derail these efforts. The enigmatic dictator recently submitted a bill for “$65 trillion dollars” to be made in compensation to the communist country headed by a man many believe to be the world’s most dangerous dictator. Given that the United States is $12 trillion in debt, and the world’s GDP is about $65 trillion, vice president Joe Biden expressed doubt about being able to repay the amount anytime soon. When first told of the claim, the vice president said that he “didn’t think there was that much money in the world!” Inflating the price may be several items included in the bill which Kim Jong-Il levied heavy fines for, the top ten are listed below:
1. $20 billion in restitution for the production of the television show “Lost” which ended without a clear explanation, as least in Kim Jong-Il’s eyes, and which was just a ploy to “hook viewers.”
2. $10 million in restitution for kicking Kim Jong-Il’s oldest son out of Tokyo Disneyland, which he tried to visit in disguise years ago.
3. $100 billion for being “called mean names” and being placed in the “axis of evil” list by former president George W. Bush. Reportedly, Kim Jung-Il is a much bigger fan of Bill Clinton and said that the “90’s were much better for him personally, before Bush came.”
4. $15 million in compensation for bad refereeing at the World Cup which cost North Korea a world championship which Kim Jong-Il believes their team should have won.
5. $18 million from Bob’s Big Boy for apparently using Kim Jong-Il’s likeness without his permission to create the iconic Big Boy.
6. $10 billion from the U.S. for allowing the BP oil spill to occur, which Kim Jong-Il says he can smell all the way from the gulf. He further added that the smell is making him sick when he takes his morning swim.
7. $33 billion from “America’s Got Talent” because, according to the reclusive dictator, “America ain’t go no talent yo”, and because the show’s producer should have fired the “Hoff” a long time ago.
8. $3,433.11 refund for over “5,000 messed up orders at McDonald’s drive through”, the North Korean leader frequently complains that every time he visits L.A. incognito they mess up his order at the drive-thru.
9. $10 million fine against Japan for being “geographically incorrect.” For years, the North Korean dictator has claimed that Japan is merely “in the way” when North Korea fires missiles into the waters surrounding the island country.
10. $1.3 trillion fine for being snubbed by the Oscars for best performance by a crazy dictator in a comedy. Kim Jong-Il had hoped that his domestically produced “Hone I Shrunk the Nuclear Weapons!” would be taking home an award, but he wasn’t even nominated.
For the list of the top ten Americans outed as Russian spies, click here.
Sources:
http://blogs.independent.co.uk/2010/06/25/unlisted-north-korea-make-65-trillion-compensation-claim/
