For the Washington, DC jet set the “it” event of the year is Chelsea Clinton’s wedding. If for no other reason than the fact that the 400 or so people invited leaves out thousands who believed that they were close enough to the former president and first lady to warrant an invitation. Al Gore was apparently shocked that he did not receive an invitation, even though he has not talked to his former boss in perhaps eight years. Listed below are 10 surprising guests who did make it on the guest list.
1. Because Chelsea Clinton is a big fan of the Wizard of Oz, all living a cast members have been given complimentary invitations to the wedding which will have a “Yellow Brick Road” theme. Though Elton john offered to sing his Yellow Brick Road song at Chelsea’s wedding, he was not invited.
2. Surprisingly, incarcerated huckster Bernie Madoff will be released from prison for 5 hours in order to attend the wedding. Supposedly he was made Chelsea’s godfather decades before he started on his life of crime.
3. Everybody involved in the Clintons’ shady Whitewater Land deal and other shenanigans will be present, however they will have to wear a black velvet bag on their head in order to hide their presence from the press and paparazzi. A conveniently cut “mouth hole” will allow them to eat cake at the reception.
4. Everybody who gave over $10,000 to Hillary clinton’s 2008 presidential campaign gets a special front row seat during the ceremony.
5. A number of members of the so called Russian mafia will be attending the wedding. Apparently Chelsea may have made some unsavory friends during her time in New York. Secret service has been asked to keep an eye on them at all times.
6. Bert and Ernie from the television show Sesame Street will make a special appearance and sing a special song for Chelsea. They were important figures in her life as they raised her while her parents were on the campaign trail and helped her to overcome a condition called “vulguar dyslexia” which causes her to spell only profane words backwards.
7. A number of criminals that President Clinton pardoned at the end of his second term in office are expected to show up, and will likely be asked to buy special $50,000 plates to help fund Chelsea’s “Honeymoon on the Moon.”
8. Although Chelsea wanted to invite some friends of her own, she acquiesced to requests by her mother and father that they have exclusive control over the guest list. The bridesmaid, chosen by Hillary Clinton, is expected to be Nancy Pelosi.
9. Surprisingly, the real Chelsea Clinton herself is expected to show up at the wedding. For decades Bill and Hillary used an actress named Betsy Wool to play the role of first child, and she continued to act in this role for years after the Clintons left the White House. The real Chelsea Clinton is said to be somewhat taller than this actress and speaks with a British accent due to the fact that she’s been living in deep cover in London for most of her life. Apparently the real Chelsea has never been photographed, and such a picture is often cited as the “photographer’s holy grail” by the paparazzi.
10. The entire cast of actors and actresses who provide the voices for the television show “The Simpsons”, will be in attendance as Chelsea is a longtime fan of this show and spends 6 to 10 hours a day watching reruns.
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