Recently, it was announced that the Justice Department that would be suing the state of Arizona over its immigration reform bill, SB 1070, which many believe could potentially lead to racial profiling. The Obama Administration lawsuit is an attempt to determine whether the law is even constitutional. However, speaking on the condition of anonymity, White House aides said that they have been upset with Arizona and it’s “backwards citizens” for a while and this was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back. Listed below are the top ten reasons why the lawsuit has been filed.
1. President Obama privately blaims Arizona’s hot summers for global warming. He had hoped that weatherization of homes would have decreased the amount of heat that the state produces, but there is still a lot of hot air coming from the state’s capital.
2. Rumors persist that President Obama lost the State of Arizona to the President of Mexico in the late night poker game. The same rumors say that vice President Joe Biden also lost the state of Michigan to the French during a different poker game. Michelle Obama has continually complained that, “if you keep gambling away states there won’t be anything left!”
3. Several miniature cacti that President Obama bought in Phoenix have died, despite being sold as “low maintenance plants.”
4. Some in the White House believe that the tea party was started in phoenix because of the large amount of “Arizona Iced Tea” sold around the country. The hope is that coffee drinkers from Mexico will dilute out the Arizona Iced Tea movement in the state.
5. Arizona governor Jan Brewer rejected proposals by the Obama administration to turn the Grand Canyon into the nation’s largest land fill and nuclear waste disposal center. Reportedly, when President Obama heard of the governor’s decision, he muttered under his breath, “Let them keep their silly ditch.”
6. President Obama heard that “Pecos Bill” was a republican, so he figured that the state is full of “Wild West Republicans” in the model of George W. Bush and whatever he could do to oppose the state would help the country.
7. U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder wanted to send Gitmo prisoners to a prison near Flagstaff, but was rebuffed and has decided that the state should be punished.
8. Some congressmen believe that Arizona’s is trying to secede from the nation by policing its own borders, and are therefore afraid that John McCain could become “King of Arizonia” as he often refers to himself in speeches.
9. Bo the White House dog believes that dog eating “Chupacabras” live in Arizona and would run free if SB 1070 is passed.
10. Michelle Obama ate some “fried bread and enchiladas” while visiting Phoenix and got diarrhea. She wants the feds to crack down on the state “Obama-style” in part because of what she believes was food poisoning.
For the top ten surprises in Queen Elizabeth’s address to the U.N., click here.