Surprising eye witness reports from an isolated Kurdish village in Iraq have stated that three American hikers who were arrested by Iranian military and imprisoned for months were really on Iraqi soil when the arrest occurred. Their concerned parents obviously hope that this information will aid the release of their children from the backwards country. However, given that the Iran-Iraqi geographical region is one of the most heavily disputed borders in the world, the hikers could probably have chosen a safer place to hike had they known how dangerous the area is. Listed below is a humorous look at the top ten other hot spots that American tourists should avoid:
1. Although many tourists from the United States try to sneak into North Korean dictator Kim Jung-Il’s private residence each year, many have been captured and have been forced to watch hundreds of hours of government infomercials documenting how “popular” the aging leader is inside his country.
2. American tourists have also been detained when trying to tour Somali pirate lairs by pontoon boat. This is not recommended as the pirates take a dim view of outsiders in the area.
3. Americans who try to scale the tall and heavily fortified walls surrounding 10 Downing Street in London are taken to an underground bunker and forced to have tea with Prince Charles each day for two hours while he describes his strange plans to build picturesque and environmentally green villages around the world.
4. Some Americans who have braved the cold Siberian winter to get a peak at Vladimir Putin’s “dacha” or summer home in Russia are taken to the gulag to labor for months, after which they are brainwashed and sent back to America as spies.
5. Americans wanting to see Fidel Castro in person have snuck into his secret Havana bungalow on occasion, only to be arrested and made to wrap Cuban cigars for six months as a punishment.
6. Americans hoping to catch a glimpse of Bill Gates at his top secret home in Oregon are routinely taken into Microsoft’s custody and made to watch “informational videos” put out by the company claiming that they will come out with something better than the iPhone.
8. Some U.S. expatriates have tried to sneak into Libya to meet Muammar Gaddafi’s luxurious outdoor tent, only to be arrested and forced to work in a factory that makes oversized luxury tents.
9. Some Americans have scaled the walls Area 51 in Rachel Nevada only to be arrested and forced to clean UFO’s for months as anyone caught near the top secret military base can be held without trial.
10. Some Americans, such as filmmaker Michael Moore, have tried to sneak into Gitmo to document living conditions only to be arrested and to be forced to work at the military base’s McDonald’s restaurant for a year.
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