Vice President Joe Bide recently made a trip to South Africa to watch the World Cup. And he also made a dig at his boss when he said that he was leaving President Obama to deal with the oil spill while he watched the game. This comment left a lot of political pundits scratching their heads in trying to figure out what the vice president meant. For starters, President Obama is pretty much leaving the oil spill work to BP, and the vice president traditionally doesn’t have much of a role in the White House and isn’t in charge of anything. White House officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity, claimed that President Obama gives the vice president “make believe jobs” to give him something to do. Listed below are ten such jobs:
1. Somebody filled up the vice president’s bath tub hot tube with chocolate syrup and told him that he needed to unplug it to “fix the oil spill.” Secret service agents said that the vice president had still not figured out where the drain was in the tube even though he has been actively working on it everyday for weeks.
2. President Obama gave him a model train set to setup in the backyard of the vice president’s house in order to accurately model how high speed rail will help the country. The vice president believes that when it is complete there will be a press conference.
3. White House staff dressed up as reporters give a mock “vice presidential press conference” every week which the vice president believes is real.
4. To help end global warming the vice president took it upon himself to put out a tray of ice cubes each week on the White House patio and let them melt.
5. The vice president was told that the 7-11 across the street from the White House is part of a secret Russian spy ring. He has since every Wednesday made an effort to spy on the 7-11 and usually jogs past there in the mornings
6. Michelle Obama lets the vice president tend her vegetable garden, and she told him that producing fresh vegetables is of national significance as a magical leprechaun lives in the garden. If the magic leprechaun isn’t happy then the economic recession will continue.
7. President Obama gave the vice president a used remote control from his old television, and told the vice president that it is the “button” that launches the nuclear missiles. He also said that should anything happen and he can’t find the president that he should push the button. The vice president can be seen carrying it around on a daily basis.
8. The vice president is under the impression that Bo, the White House dog, is actually a robot and that the vice president’s job is to alert the president should the White House corps of reporters discover this disturbing fact.
9. In order to stimulate the economy, each week vice President Joe Biden is given an allowance of $200 and asked to go buy hot dogs from the vendors in the national mall.
10. The vice president has also been told that he must take the temperature of all the White House staff every morning as part of health care reform and to make sure “everybody stays healthy.”
For the Top Ten Surprises in Ted Kennedy’s FBI file: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5486880/top_ten_surprises_in_ted_kennedys_fbi.html?cat=60.