Recently, a man was arrested in Mexico for attempting to smuggle 18 rare and endangered monkeys, called Titi monkeys, into the country from Peru. The man had the tiny monkeys stuffed in pockets and bags on his person, and was afraid that if he put them into suitcase which was x-rayed by security, that the radiation might somehow harm them. (Or more likely would alert authorities to some monkey business going on.) Bizarre as this may sound, it is not the first time that somebody has tried to smuggle unusual cargo through airport security. The top ten examples are listed below.
1. A man arriving from Greenland was arrested at JFK for trying to smuggle a polar bear cub into the country. Apparently an unknown celebrity, who police believe is Oprah Winfrey, promised to pay for the polar bear upon delivery.
2. Several pounds of rare Parisian blue truffles, worth hundreds of thousands of dollars a pound, were almost smuggled into the United States by Britain’s Prince Charles during a recent visit. Officials knew something was wrong when the Prince kept asking custom officials if they had caught anyone trying to smuggle illegal truffles that day while he giggled uncontrollably.
3. An agent working for North Korean dictator Kim Jung-Il was caught trying to ship several containers full of freshwater Corinthian Jelly Fish into the United States. The Jumbo Jelly Fish can grow several meters in length and would have completely decimated the trout population in the Great Lakes had they been dumped in this body of water.
4. Lindsay Lohan, upon her return to the United States from France, tried to smuggle in several pounds of cocaine, marijuana, tranquilizers, dental pain medication and illegal Portuguese rum made from endanger coconut trees. However, she was let ago after she convinced authorities that it was all for legitimate medicinal purposes.
5. Bert and Ernie, of Seasame Street fame, tried to smuggle several unvaccinated cobras into the United States at the Chicago O’Hare airport, apparently for use as pets.
6. It was reported that Al Gore, dressed in a disguise which included a sombrero and fake mustache, tried to smuggle pirated copies of his documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth” into Cuba. However he was arrested at the airport after authorities noticed him muttering about “mother earth and global warming” and immediately deported him to the United States.
7. Famous children book’s writer, Dr. Seus, who wrote the “Cat in the Hat”, actually got the idea for the story while trying to smuggle in a rare “Savannah Cat” from Africa under a 20 galloon cowboy hat. The reason for his arrest, as listed on the police report was, “Cat in Hat.”
8. Former late night comedian, Conan O’Brien, was recently arrested in China for trying to smuggle a rare talking albino monkey out of the country for use in his next talk show.
9. Sen. John Kerry’s wife, Theresa Heinz heir to the Heinz ketchup company, was recently arrested for trying to smuggle in 12 gallons of rare, and extremely expensive, imported black French Dijon mustard into the country with out paying required taxes. She wept as she said that she could no longer stomach eating ketchup and didn’t want it publicly known that she much preferred the tasty zest of Dijon mustard.
10. Levi Johnston, the much maligned son-in-law of Sarah Palin, was arrested in Seattle for trying to smuggle in thousands of dollars of marijuana which had been ingeniously crafted in the form of a gigantic “Gumby” doll which he said was a present for the governor’s daughter.
For the top ten interesting activities pursued by criminals on the run, click here.