It was recently announced that Internet search giant Google may be entering the social networking business. Well known brand names such as Facebook and Myspace will face stiff competition from one of the most powerful Internet business companies ever created. In addition, Google has announced the acquisition of online gaming companies in an effort to perhaps make their social networking site more virtually interactive than Facebook. Here are the top ten rumored features that will be added to the as yet unnamed Google social networking site.
1. A special function on Google maps will allow users to see “who” actually lives in houses shown on satellites views by linking directly to Google’s social networking site which may be called, “Google Friends.” A special function will also allow relatives and friends to see if someone they know is in jail or prison by clicking on the special “Google incarceration look up” button.
2. A special Google GPS tracking device will be issued to users of the site so that they can keep track of all of their friends in real time.
3. A special “big brother” feature will allow premium users of the service to be able to see so called “private” accounts and to secretly monitor the communication of these users. ACLU lawyers are up in arms over this provision, however, the lengthy agreement form that users of Google Friends must accept gives the right for Google to monitor their online use in anyway that the company sees fit.
4. As Google has already digitized and copyrighted a large number of the world’s finest pieces of art, for a flat one time fee users will be able to add their likeness to paintings displayed in the virtual world such as Leonardo Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa for approximately 24 hours. It is expected that art fans will enjoy seeing themselves in famous pieces of art, such as standing in the background of Da Vinci’s last supper, for special occasions such as their birthdays.
5. Even if you decide not to use Google’s social networking site, a new and improved version of Google street view, which is refreshed every 12 hours, will automatically take a picture of you and add you to the site under a nickname chosen by the computer such as “blue shirt guy in Tampa”.
6. Certain government officials will be granted access to a special part of Google’s social cyberspace which will have classified Google maps photos of Martian ruins, in addition to a special “Google Galaxy Friends” page which has both humans and aliens who live at Area 51 in Nevada.
7. Users who decide to quit the service will have their photograph superimposed over Google’s white search page with a special message “Amy has decided to leave the best social networking site of all time, Google Friends, so we have decided to add her to the webpage of shame.”
8. A special section of Google Friends will be devoted to pets, and will allow cats and dogs to have their own Facebook like web page, and allow them to communicate via a special microphone which will translate barks and meows into a new language understandable by pets and humans.
9. In an effort to compete with Twitter, Google will allow users to send short messages in morse code, or binary code, to each other via Google’s new “Jabberwocky” application available only to Google Friends users.
10. In addition to creating what may become the largest social networking site in history, Google will also create a virtual village called Googleville, which will try to simulate big city life. Virtual products will be sold in the city, and will include bootleg versions of recently released movies being sold by virtual street vendors.
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