It was recently announced that the ten Russian spies in United States custody will be released back to Russia in exchange for spies and other people being held in the former communist country. While only four of the names of prisoners that the United States will get in the exchange have been made public, rumors swirl as to the identities of the others being offered in trade. The top ten rumored people involved in the U.S.-Russian spy exchange are listed below.
1. Joan Crawford. Apparently, the popular comedian he has been held in Russia for the past decade, and now Americans want her back. Supposedly she has been hosting her own late night talk show from prison called “Gulag Live.”
2. O.J. Simpson. Ex-football great and convicted felon is apparently a Russian spy sent to the United States to orchestrate the “Trial of the Century” to distract American attention away from Russia so that they could build a secret Moon base. Now, apparently, the Russians want him back.
3. Joe Biden. Apparently the current vice president of the United States it’s also won the Russian payroll for being a spy. This came as a shock to the vice president and his staff, but nonetheless the Russians want him back. Apparently, some of brain washing was used on the vice president so that even he was unaware that he was a Russian spy.
4. Lindsay Lohan. The onetime extremely popular movie star who is now battling prescription drug and alcohol addiction, was also apparently a Russian spy sent to discover secrets about Hollywood celebrities which could be used to blackmail them.
5. Angelina Jolie. Apparently the actress who has played a spy in a number of films including, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, and the newly released “Salt” which eerily mirrors current events involving Russian spies in the United States, is actually a Russian spy herself. Questions remain about whether Brad Pitt knew that his wife was a Russian spy, and what will happen to their children.
6. Ronald Mcdonald. Apparently the famous fast food icon, who has long favored red wigs and red shoes, is apparently a Russian name Dmitry. His goal was to addict Americans to unhealthy fast food, and since the objective was accomplished the Russians apparently are eager for his return.
7. Tom Hanks. The actor known for solving Da Vinci Code styled mysteries on the big screen was apparently a bit of a mystery himself. Known to close friends as Vladimir Hankowski, he apparently spied for the Russians until his acting career took off with Forrest Gump. Now the Russians want him back so that he can make films in the mother country.
8. Orville Redenbacher. The bow-tie wearing popcorn icon apparently spied for the Russians for decades. Moscow has wanted to include him in the spy exchange, but later discovered that he had passed away.
9. Larry King. Apparently the popular CNN interview host was also passing secrets he learned from interviewing politicians on to the Russians. Insiders say that this was the real reason behind his upcoming retirement.
10. Colonel Sanders. Famed fast food restaurant owner apparently once worked for the Russians by spying on how Americans were improving food service efficiency with drive-thru restaurants. Though the Russians know he has since passed away, they instead want the secret combination of spices used in his chicken, which is apparently locked away somewhere.
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