It was recently reported that airline food may not be safe for human consumption. This is because the rather unappetizing meals are cooked in unsanitary conditions. The facilities that produced a meals are found to have violated a number of health codes. However, is anyone really surprised by this? Airline food has long been the bane of airlines’ frequent flyers, and is rumored to have been created by chefs who normally cook prison food. Listed below are the ten top airlines meals which passengers find disgusting:
1. Cream of rubber chicken soup. For decades, this was a common staple for all the major airlines, was recognizable only as chicken due to the whitish-yellow consistency and menu labeling. The rice served with the chicken is bonafid rice that has been steam cooked for three weeks inside gigantic industrial vat, though some passengers claim that it is maggots.
2. Steak sole of shoe. Someone told the airlines that they could legally sell the leather in used business shoes as technically “steak” as it comes from a cow, especially if soaked in a special tenderizing sauce for three hours. At first the airline executive said no, however when it was explained to them that shoes left behind are airplanes could be used to cut costs they agreed.
3. Ham sandwhich from hell. Made from a reused prison recipe from Russia, this sandwhich utilizes almost spoiled ham, fatty tasteless cheese from Siberia, in addition with a “zingy Dijon mustard”, and had been found in taste tests to be marginally better than starving to death.
4. Mystery meat stroganoff. Made from meat from a variety of sources, including pig’s lips and meat from dead zoo animals, this meat is recognizable only as some sort of meat due to stringy and tough nature. Served with “beef stroganoff sauce” it was hoped that passengers wouldn’t notice the bizarre texture.
5. Synthetic vegetables. Yes, they look like real carrots, peas and potatoes, but they are really made from a blend of edible plastic and tofu. Flavored with the “essence of carrots, peas and potatos”. They are actually more expensive than regular vegetables, but airline chefs don’t won’t passengers to start “thinking the food should taste good”.
6. “Spice Cookie”. The strong odor of cinnamon and ginger might make you think that you are eating a real cookie. Think again. This confection is made from “biorecycled cardboard” and fortified with tofu and then flavored to hide its bland nature. Made to survive thousands of take offs and landings and cheaper to make than real cookies.
7. Chef’s salad. While the chef’s salad isn’t that bad, the problem is that it is 50% salad dressing, 30% real salad and 20% fillers like Styrofoam peanuts. The salad dressing also isn’t real salad dressing, but an edible product made from recycle milk cartoons and discarded Eskimo pies. Eat this product at your own risk.
8. Salted snacks. A world renowned survivalist, who incidentally got lost in his own backyard and unfortunately died there, told airlines chefs that they must hand out overly salted snacks to passengers or else they might succumb to hyponatremia during the flight. Pretzels sold to airlines are unnecessarily, and dangerously, loaded with five times as much salt as normal snack items. This includes the pretzels and peanuts.
9. “Chocolate” pudding. Airline pudding is so bad that not even Bill Cosby want to touch it. It is made from broiled down slaughter house juices, similar to gravy, and flavored with artificial chocolate flavoring made from the husks of cocoa beans. Don’t eat this is you are a vegetarian.
10. Airline salad croutons. The airlines salad crouton taste passably good, and are the only part of the salad that some passengers will eat. However, at 30,000 feet flavor can be deceiving, these tasty morsels are actually made from breads crumbs cooked with used cat litter. Passengers allergic to cats should avoid them.
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