Nowadays, more and more books are being made into movies. Which can be a great thing, as long as the movie stays true to the book. Here are the top 3 books that should be turned into movies, complete with the perfect actors, and the must have directors:
“Lamb” by Christopher Moore. Why this author’s books haven’t been made into movies is unknown, but they should be. Forget making more Nicholas Sparks copies and start making Moore’s books into comedy movies. Start with “Lamb”, by far Moore’s best book to date. “Lamb” is the life story of Jesus Christ, as told by his best friend Biff. It is crude, perverted, hilarious, and heartfelt at its core. The cast has to be perfect for this movie, and preferably not too famous actors.
Biff: Richard Speight, Jr. – Biff is an idiot. He has a warped, and perverted sense of humor. He is not a gorgeous character. The actor to play Biff has to be hilarious without trying too hard. Although many have probably never heard of him, Richard Speight, Jr. was made for this part. He’s been in TV shows like “Jericho” and “Band of Brothers”. Most recently, he has played the Trickster and the angel Gabriel in the show “Supernatural”. He is a scene-stealer, and Biff needs to rule every scene. Richard Speight, Jr. can do that.
Joshua: Dominic Monaghan – Who could handle the pressures of playing Jesus Christ himself? This actor has to be goofy too, but also have the ability to be serious. It has to be someone who could play off of Biff’s antics with ease. The two of them have to stand side-by-side, and just look like the best of friends. Best choice for Joshua? Dominic Monaghan. His meager beginnings included the silly Hobbit Merry, and recently as Charlie in the show “Lost”. Girls love his cuteness and humor, just as they all love Jesus.
Maggie: Zooey Deschanel – In “Lamb”, Mary Magdalene is a bit of a tomboy. She hangs with the two guys, always getting into trouble. She can be just as crass as the others, but does it while being cute and seemingly innocent. Zooey Deschanel is very pretty, but also a bit tomboyish. She would be perfect as Maggie, and could play off of Dominic Monaghan and Richard Speight, Jr. easily. They’d be a great trio.
Mary: Anne Hathaway – Joshua’s mother has to be young and beautiful. Biff is always ogling her and wanting to marry her and sleep with her. So, you need an actress who is beautiful but can also do humor. That would be Anne Hathaway. Put her in a slightly low cut dress and let Biff ogle away at her chest.
Raziel: Nathan Fillion – Raziel is a beautiful, but incredibly stupid, angel. Put Nathan Fillion(Firefly, Castle, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog) in a long blonde wig and just let him go. You’re laughing at this image, aren’t you? See? Perfect actor for the role.
The three Wiseman – Balthasar is a large black man who considers himself a Chinaman. When you think funny large black man, who comes to mind? Michael Clarke Duncan. Yeah, you recognize him from movies like “The Green Mile” and “Armageddon”. Remember those leopard print underwear? Gaspar and Melchior are brothers, both Hindi. For fun, have one actor play both roles. That actor should be Nitin Ganatra. Although pretty much unknown, despite the huge list of movies and shows he’s done, Ganatra would steal the show in these parts. Watch him in “Bride and Prejudice” and you will see.
Bartholomew: Zach Galifianakis – As the village idiot who can lick his own balls.
Director: Jason Reitman – Director of “Up in the Air”, but most importantly, “Juno”. “Juno” is a humorous movie with a main character whose words carry the entire movie. Biff is the same way in “Lamb”. His wit needs a director who can handle it and not ruin it.
“I Am The Messenger” by Markus Zusak. This amazing book is about a young man with no life, who mysteriously starts receiving playing cards with messages on them. These messages are tasks he must perform to help make someone’s life better. Sometimes sweets things, like keeping an old lady’s company. Sometimes difficult things like protecting a mother and child from getting beaten by a drunken husband every night. Along the way, the main character learns a few lessons about life.
Ed Kennedy: Logan Lerman -To get those young butts in the theater seats, you have to have a good-looking main character. But, not a cheesy good-looking main character. Ed is not a winner in this book, so there will be no Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner. This is not a movie for screaming fans, it is a lot more serious. So, good-looking, up and coming actor? Logan Lerman from “Percy Jackson and the Olympians”. Those eyes are intensely beautiful, and he could win hearts while still playing a serious role.
Audrey: Ellen Page – Audrey is the girl that Ed loves, but she’s with someone else and doesn’t like Ed more than a friend. She uses him for his friendship, knowing he’ll do anything for her because he loves her. So, we need a pretty girl who can act, because again, this is a serious movie. Ellen Page is an amazing actress, so she gets the part.
Merv: Jackson Rathbone – Yes, he’s from Twilight, but that is not why he’s up for this part. Merv is Ed’s best friend, a bit of an idiot but a fun character. Just one look at Jackson Rathbone and he is Merv. Of course, he’ll have to do more than stand like a statue and looked pained, but he could pull it off.
Richie: Jake Abel – Richie is quiet and dependable. Logan Lerman and Jake Abel were enemies in “Percy Jackson and the Olympians” but that doesn’t mean they can’t be friends in this book turned movie.
Director: Chris Weitz – Again, not because of “New Moon”, sorry fans. Chris Weitz because he’s already done the dark book turned movie when he directed “About a Boy” by Nick Hornby. He did the book justice, and could easily do it again with “I Am The Messenger”.
“Kushiel’s Dart” by Jacqueline Carey. This fantasy series has one of the strongest heroines every written, and a villain that is intense. They aren’t great because they fight with swords and aren’t afraid to kill, they are amazing characters because their strength comes from their minds. “Kushiel’s Dart”, with its colorful characters and beautiful setting, would make an amazing book turned movie.
Phedre: Evangeline Lilly – Phedre is a beautiful young woman who is also very vain, but incredibly smart. The actress who plays her needs to be all those things as well. Evangeline Lilly plays Kate in the TV show “Lost”, and although she’s more of a whiner right now in the show, Kate is typically a strong woman. Evangeline Lilly could pull off this character, but she’d have to work hard. Besides, what man wouldn’t love seeing her in a sado-masochist bedroom scene?
Joscelin: Logan Bartholomew – Joscelin is a beautiful man who is graceful and stealthy. The only time he has a bad temper is when he’s around Phedre, the woman he loves. So, the actor needs to be beautiful, and look amazing wielding a sword and daggers. Unknown Logan Bartholomew could steal hearts in this part, and finally get some real recognition. About the only thing you can see him in now is “Love’s Enduring Promise”. Go watch it just to see how beautiful he is.
Melisande: Milla Jovovich – Melisande is the ultimate villan. She is beautiful, but deadly because of her brains and her ability to use people without them even knowing it. For this movie, we need an actress who can appear evil with just a look, and can entrance with just a glance. Milla Jovovich, of the Resident Evil series, can do that easily.
Hyacinth: Garrett Hedlund – Another beautiful boy, Hyacinth is Phedre’s best friend. He is a lot more fun than Joscelin, and has beautiful eyes and wavy hair. Garett Hedlund(Four Brothers, Eragon, TRON Legacy) is a pretty boy making a name for himself in the movie business. His smile and eyes will work perfect for Hyacinth.
Director: Peter Jackson – “Lord of the Rings”, anyone? This man knows how to spend money to make amazing scenes in fantasy movies. He just needs to not mess with the script too much.