Following the death of a mate, life as you knew it has changed. No longer do you have someone to talk to when you cannot sleep, go to the movies with or have a bite to eat at the local diner. Face it, nothing is the same. I know from personal experience that dining out alone is not much fun and that holding hands in the movies is more romantic than sitting alone. If you feel the same way, it might be time for you to make some changes in your life by searching for a date.
Where do you begin?
The first step is to accept the fact that you are tired of living alone. Understand that by feeling as you do you are not being unfaithful to your deceased mate. The next step is to find a date -regardless of your age.
This might be the most difficult thing to do, but you must if you are ready to bring a new person into your life. Do not feel guilty! You are not doing anything wrong. Everyone is entitled to be happy and not to be lonely. Your deceased spouse would have wanted this for you.
Once you are ready to make the change, there are things that must be done – if you are ready to start a new phase in your life.
This is The Plan to Follow
1. Remove all the pictures of you and your loved that is hanging on the wall or mementos of your past life sitting on the living room tables. Store them in a box and put it in the attic. They are memories of the past and you are starting a new page in the book of your life. Do not feel guilty. Keep in mind, that in order to make room for someone new, you must first put away the past.
3. Empty the closet of all of the clothes, shoes and other garments that the deceased mate wore. There are many folks who would welcome the clothing. Contact the Salvation Army or Goodwill Industries. They will be happy to pick them up. Starting a new life means putting away the old life. Start fresh.
4. Make an appointment with a local beauty parlor. Change the color of your hair and get a new hair style whether you are a man or a woman. The man can grow a mustache or a little beard if he is so inclined.
5. Buy a new wardrobe if your finances can afford it. If not, one new outfit will do. Dress in today’s style no matter your age. Styles have changed since you were younger. Then get ready to find your first date.
6. Ask friends if they know any single men or women. If not, visit the bookstores; even older people read books. Go to the library or attend a meeting of the AARP. No one is going to knock on your door – you have to go out looking for a date, just as you did when you were younger.
7. Try the Internet and check out the Senior dating sites. Keep in mind however, that even if you are honest with what you say, it does not mean that the other person is. Never give out any personal information, where you live, where you work or the telephone number where you can be reached, especially not your cell number.
8. Finally, you have found your first date and wonder what you should wear? Women should dress neatly and appropriately, and not look too flirtatious. They should apply makeup lightly. Do not look as if you have painted cheeks and bright red lips.
9. Both men and women can wear cologne but put it on lightly. Your date might be allergic to scents. Make sure that you shower before you get dressed.
How to Act Once You Meet Your Date?
1. A light hug or a handshake is appropriate. Shake his hand if he offers it. Follow what he does and how he acts; let him take the lead at least on the first date.
2. If you were going out to dinner, and had not as yet decided where to go, tell him your preference if he asks. Do not respond by saying to him’ its up to you’ unless you really mean it.
3. One final thing! If this is a blind date, or you have met on the Internet, heed your reactions when you meet. If you get bad vibes, and he is not the type of person you expected, or, if you feel uncomfortable being with him even for a few seconds, it is perfectly permissible to excuse yourself, tell him you feel ill, and go home. Obey the red light warning you get from within you.
It is better to be safe than sorry. Better luck next time.