This is in response to a fan on Twitter that says that he would rather read about the perils of dating a married woman. I don’t know if I can go as hard as I did on my other article, Thinking About Dating a Married Man, Think Again …, but I am going to try. That was a classic from 2007, and one of my all time best articles.
I never expected to receive the amount of traffic I did from that article, and I am still receiving a significant amount of revenue for that work. But perhaps three years later it is worth looking into. Men why would you want to deal with a married woman, her husband will most likely try to kill you if you ever get caught and women tend to be a lot better at cheating than men. Is it really worth the hassle?
I hear women when they say that a girl can use a man for sex just as much as men use them for sex but I still think that women begin to stray when they get bored with a relationship. They stray when they fall out of love with the men that they are married to. They stray when those men neglect their responsibilities in the bedroom and those men take their emotional needs for granted. In a marriage people fall into a routine, and some people will continue to keep up the routine because it can feel a lot better than being alone and others will get away from the routine and seek their fun elsewhere.
This is where you come in as a single man that likes the fact that the woman is unattached. Just like a woman that likes a married man that is available emotionally and sexually, but does not take up too much of your time and is not going to ask a lot of you the married woman promises the same illusion of being able to have your cake and eat it to for the single man. So what type of man gets involved with a married woman? Is he someone that likes the idea that he can be with a married woman but does not have to go through the hoops of maintaining a relationship with her?
A married woman knows exactly what she wants and will throw out some subtle hints out there that you can pick up on and do with as you may. A lot of married women get involved with other married men, and they can be very clear about what the arrangement may be. In fact men may have it a bit worse than women because while a married man may want someone but will not pursue her because he doesn’t want to get caught and does not want to aggressively pursue someone a married woman just has to say the word. Chances are some single man has been flirting with a married woman at work for months and is easy to find if she wants to take it there.
Whereas men will cheat because the opportunity presented itself and will do so on a whim a woman may have given it careful consideration. My article warning women about married men dealt heavily with the potential pitfalls of falling in love with a man that is not going to leave his wife for her. It told women not to get in too deep, and suggested that those women deserved someone that could be there for them exclusively. Quite honestly I have reevaluated my positions on infidelity. I think that people actually like the idea of being with someone that can make them feel better than the single people that they are dating.
Married people have a way of catapulting a single person to a different level that they would have to work hard at with other single people that they are dating. So it can be somewhat tempting when a married person is not playing any games and is upfront about what they want and what they are willing to do about your own needs and desires. If that married person is on the prowl anyway you may not even have to court them in the same way that you would someone who is single. The key is that some of their needs are being satisfied elsewhere, so they just need for you to fill in the blanks. It is quite different than a relationship with a single person where you are doing everything, and are jealous if they are relying on other individuals to fill in the blanks because you want them exclusively.
But you have to be okay with the fact that they will need to spend time with their kids, their husband, his family and their friends and you will never get a lot of time with her. If you ever want to have a real relationship she may only be able to go so far to accommodate you or even desire to be there for you the way that a single girl that is unattached would. To be completely honest, I could never date a married woman. It just seems foul as a married man to be stepping out to begin with, but with another married woman it is just so much worse. Because all I would ever think about is the fact that I am partaking her in an ideal way but can never have her completely. She is always going home to someone else. How would I feel if my own wife were playing those mental games with some other guy?
Eventually her husband is going to step up to plate and do everything that she needs for him to do that you’re doing. When she stops pursuing it from him, stops nagging him and is complacent in that relationship he may okay with it at first but he will inevitably come around once some other woman informs this clueless man that there are deeper problems in the relationship. It could be some other woman he is stepping out with himself, but it will happen in time. That guy that always spends too much time at work, that is always working in some other town, eventually comes home. You have to deal with him, and depending on how you deal with him you could end up loosing that married woman. If you are okay with that fact and are willing to take those chances then by all means but if you get in too deep you could get crushed in a way that made you wish that you had never slept with her to begin with …