It takes two to tango, so why do brides seem to dominate the planning scene? If you’re like most women, you’ve been planning your wedding day since you were five. You were Barbie and he was Ken and you drove a convertible and lived in a dream house happily ever after. Given the unlikelihood that your fiancé shared that treasured childhood planning session, you’ll need to clue your man in as to what you’re thinking. Oh, and ask his opinion on the matter while you’re at it.
Many men shy away from getting too involved because they feel that picking out flowers and lace is too girly and it is. But there are many elements to a wedding that you both need to discuss and agree on together. There are also a variety of things that hubby-to-be can take care of to take some of the burden off the bride.
After you’ve planned a budget, picked a date and location and agreed upon the theme or color scheme, draw up some honey-do lists (for both sides) to help maintain sanity and accomplish all the million little things that go into creating your perfect day.
Some great ideas for the groom:
Groomsmen – these are the groom’s men, so it’s fitting that he should get to choose them, ask them to participate, dress them, assign them tasks, buy them gifts, and party down with them. It’s ok to make suggestions, but let him decide what the boys will be wearing (the store will have attendants to guide him). Listing typical groomsmen tasks might help him out, as well as a schedule of when tuxes need to be rented and sized by. Put your guy in charge of his guys.
Dads – encourage some bonding by suggesting that the dads and he tackle some of these tasks together. They’ll need to dress the part as well, so they should also be attending fittings and renting shoes. These guys have already taken the plunge, so they can offer some fatherly wisdom and guidance.
Music – whether you’ve mutually decided to hire a band, a DJ, or an iPod, men are typically aces with music. After the two of you have determined that type of music you want for the reception, he can then take charge of pulling it all together.
Transportation – men and cars go back to the Model-T, so trust him to make sound decisions regarding your (and your bridal party’s) transportation to and from the ceremony and reception. Add ensuring out-of-town guests have a ride and having a contingency plan for guests who might get carried away in their celebrations. Point out that this task could include test drives and your man will take it on full throttle.
Accommodations – if you’ll have guests coming in from out of town, they’ll need a place to stay. Have your future-hubby scope out nearby hotels and talk to the manager about blocking some rooms for your guests. This task could also include booking a suite locale for your wedding night.
Rehearsal Dinner – traditionally, this is paid for by the groom’s parents, but no matter who’s footing the bill, let him handle the particulars. Suggest he ask his mom for help, this will likely thrill her.
Honeymoon – once upon a time, the groom always planned the honeymoon and the bride was always surprised. Like the custom of the bride’s parents paying for the shindig, this has changed over the years. Whether you’ve got a say in your destination or not, let him handle the details, talk to the travel agent, and book the flights. Just make sure you know exactly when you’re leaving and what needs to be packed.
Being a groom can be nerve-wracking. Remember that your fiancé may have been dreading, not dreaming about, this day and he’s likely just as stressed out as you are, but showing it differently. A bridezilla doesn’t make anyone swoon, so remind yourself that no matter how crazy things get, you truly love each other and this hectic preparation period is just one stop on the road of your life together.