Not everyone will agree about which accents are the most or least sexy. It’s entirely subjective. Sexy is as sexy does and sometimes the accent is just a reminder of a very good or very bad experience. So, I speak here as someone who has traveled a little bit and had some experiences with people – including those of the opposite sex (men, in my case) from all over the world.
That is how I have arrived at the following list of the un-sexiest accents in the world.
#1. Asian. Think Long Duck Dong! Anything Asian is unappealing. It may be the forcefulness and ineptitude of Asian would-be wooers I’ve run across over the years. Or, it may be that it’s just flat un-sexy. I don’t really know, but if it’s Asian – it’s out. There are no exceptions to this rule.
#2 The American South. Country and western singers and other assorted cowboys and rednecks. Most men with southern accents sound like a domestic violence incidents waiting to happen. I associate it with lack of chauvinism and belligerence. I think this has been due to a series of unfortunate incidents in southern states where I felt my life was in danger. When I hear that accent from a man – even seemingly nice men, I cringe in fear.
#3. French. The accent is a reminder of groping, unwanted attention and other bad behavior I’ve experienced from those who bear the accent. It’s the reason I never had a desire to go to France, as much as I enjoy French movies. I love the French actor John Reno from afar (maybe because he’s really from Spain!), but that’s as close as I ever want to get to a Frenchman. The accent is like girl-repellent to me.
#4. Australian and Kiwi. These two sound very similar to me. Remember silly-looking actor Yahoo Serious who split the beer atom in the movie Young Einstein? Or, how about Russel Crowe who is known world wide for his bad temper? That’s what I think of when I hear the accent.
Is it possible that they shipped a lot of Cockneys off to Sidney for snatching loaves of bread? I’ve met a lot of nice Aussies, but the accent sounds really low brow. It has no appeal for me at all They do great comedies, though. Lovely people in all. But, the accent is a major turn off. Dittos for the neighboring Kiwis.
#5. Russian. The Russian accent is a reminder of the cold war days, the Berlin Wall, long lines and a lack of toilet paper. Maybe this image will change in time. The only time the accent doesn’t give me a bad feeling is when it is coming from Yakov Smirnoff. Yakov is probably one of the funniest Russians in the world, in part because of his accent. While funny men can be sexy, Russian accents are not. In fact, they just kind of sound weird and nerdy.
So, that’s my list. I’m sure many people will disagree with me. If you do, I hope you will draw up your own list of un-sexiest accents.