1) Parents aren’t superhuman. I should have been cued off to this when my dad had a brain aneurysm burst in 1994 but I was always a mom’s girl from age 15 on.
2) When my mother said the cancer would not come back and kill me in 1992 she was just as unsure as I was. I’ve seen the same look on her face in recent weeks that I had on my own many years ago.
3) We spin around on this planet unsure of most things. Even those we love the most can’t always protect us. In spite of that, life is beautiful. I have taken more solace in nature since learning of her likely terminal illness. Life is a cycle even though it is a nasty one sometimes.
4) No one will ever love us like our moms. I knew this in regard to my own two children but now see it from her. She doesn’t want to bother me or inconvenience me in any way. Obviously she is no inconvenience but I know how moms are since I am one.
5) Years ago mom told me not to put her on a pedestal. I guess she could sense I adored her in every possible way and wanted to be just like her. I still do. My mother would give anyone the shirt off her back. She’s a nurse at a hospital and everyone loves her. My mom truly rocks. She has long been my rock.
6) Sometimes people don’t tell others they are sick because they don’t want them to act weird or obsess they said something wrong. We lost my husband’s aunt last year and she was this way. Others are able to look past bumbling tongues and know people love them. That’s my mom.
7) It doesn’t matter how many years ago a trauma happens, if something similar happens later your mind immediately goes back there. My mom’s grandmother died of colon cancer and her immediate reaction was to compare the situation although great-grandma Allie died in 1960.
8) Financial situations for people who have cancer and are not yet considered disabled stink. My mother has earned more than the allowed $15,000 this year so she cannot draw disability until January. This is coming from a woman who has worked harder than anyone I have ever known.
9) One thing my mom has taught me is to slow down and better analyze my symptoms. Even though I have Cowden Syndrome and have had cancer three times, I haven’t been checked as I should. Mom ignored symptoms for many months and yesterday a lesion was found on her brain on top of the colon and liver cancer. If this is cancer on her brain, we may lose her sooner than we thought.
10) I’ve learned from my mom that if you are nice to someone they are nice to you right back. She’s had many visitors and is very loved. She’s shy like me but had to break out of it and when she did she made friends who are with her during this rotten time. I’m going to follow her lead on this one.
The articles where I spoke about my mother being diagnosed have not yet been published. I hope they are because mom has no income and I’m trying to help. Mom found out in late May she has multiple liver masses. A colonoscopy revealed a large mass-adenocarcinoma that had spread. An MRI revealed a lesion on her brain yesterday. She has her port-a-catheter in place and chemotherapy begins on Monday. For those of you who have read my tribute to her, you know what a nightmare this is for me. My mother is my best friend, my advocate, just an amazing person. If you are age 50 or older, please get a colonoscopy even if you think there is no family history. If you are under age 50 and there is a family history, please also consider a colonoscopy.