The rudest thing I’ve ever done happened 40-years ago and my conscience still nags me from time-to-time. I dumped my boyfriend the night of his senior prom: the night before he was scheduled to take entrance exams for college.
I’ve sometimes wondered if I’d ruined R.D.’s life. Did he fail his exams because he stayed up all night crying? Did I cause him to lose trust in women? Even worse, what if he’d committed suicide? How could I live with that on my conscience?
The answer is – I simply don’t know what ever happened to R.D. And, I likely never will, because even in our super-technological age, I have failed to locate him and apologize.
I’ve made excuses to myself for dumping R.D. the night of his senior prom; the night before he was scheduled to take entrance exams for college. And, I’ve justified those tired excuses over the years, whenever R.D.’s name popped into my consciousness.
If you will, try to travel backwards in your mind, to your high school days. Do you remember how absolutely crucial it was to be POPULAR? Would you (like me) have done anything (legal) to achieve that coveted title – “Most Popular Freshman”?
My First Mistake Leading-up to the Rudest Thing I’ve Ever Done
As R.D.’s “steady girl”, I wore his senior ring around my neck on a gold chain and during wintertime, his gold football letter sweater. Never mind that the sleeves hung below my knees, I just rolled them up.
Beginning the moment met, R.D. glommed onto me like chewing gum on my bedpost. At school, I’d look up and he’d be there – like magic. Every night R.D. would telephone from five to seven times. He had “our” lives planned to the nth degree for the next ten years.
The pressure to return his feelings was incredible.
Prom Night – the Rudest Thing I’ve Ever Done
On prom night, we went to a fancy restaurant and enjoyed fine dining. We danced until I had holes in my lavender stockings.
After prom, R.D. pulled into the driveway, and cut the motor off, hoping for a little smooching and that’s when I dumped him.
Of course after 40-years, I can’t remember my exact words. But, I do recall going past the point of rudeness.
After committing the rudest thing I’ve ever done, I got out of the car and never looked back.
Why did you do it, Bonnie?
You probably wonder, “Why did you do it, Bonnie?
Isn’t it strange that you can see past events with such clarity?
R.D. couldn’t have known that underneath my purple lace formal gown, I wore red whelps from head to toe. He didn’t know my mother abused me. In those days (the 60’s) abuse was a secret. I never told (anyone) for fear of retaliation, up to and including death by black belt.
He wasn’t aware of how many beatings I’d taken because of his incessant phone calls.
R. D. also didn’t know how scared I was that I could never measure up to his expectations.
Because I didn’t tell him.
The Rudest Thing I’ve Ever Done – a Public Apology 40-years Later
R.D. will you please, please accept my public apology, even though it comes 40-years later? I am desperately sorry for the rude manner in which I treated you. You didn’t deserve being dumped on prom night.
I truly hope you have enjoyed the best of life’s many blessings.
If my public apology for the rudest thing I’ve ever done never reaches you, perhaps some young lady, somewhere, will learn from my experience.
And, perhaps she will break up with her boyfriend in a kind, courteous manner. Otherwise, like me, she will know regret.