When Jill’s gassy dog, Ginger, started crapping all over the place, I didn’t have high hopes for tonight’s episode of “The Real Housewives of New York City.” Fortunately, things took a turn for the better as we got some girl talk, “a yard sale of body parts” and an engagement.
Bethenny went to Brooklyn to have a little salad and quiche with Alex and spill about her engagement, which happened off-camera (methinks that scene will pop up on Bethenny’s new show, “Bethenny’s Getting Married.”) Alex was humbled that she was the first to hear Bethenny’s good news, though the Skinnygirl decided to keep mum on her pregnancy for the time being.
Ramona and Sonja get together for lunch to reminisce over old times and talk some smack about Cuckoo Kelly. As longtime fans recall, one of Bethenny’s issues with Cuckoo Kelly was the fact that she seemed to have amnesia every time they ran into each other. Sonja made mention of the fact that she’s met Cuckoo Kelly “a million times,” and each time, she acts like they’ve never met. Well, at least we know Cuckoo Kelly is an equal opportunity snob. Later, in an absolutely hilarious scene, Cuckoo Kelly attempts to cook pancakes for her kids and comes up with hockey pucks that she thinks her horses will eat. Her youngest daughter provided written commentary throughout the ordeal and I think that kid may have a future in journalism.
In more mother-daughter bonding news, Ramona takes her daughter, Avery to lunch or brunch, I’m not sure what meal it was, to ask her to be maid of honor for the upcoming renewal ceremony. Avery’s not feeling it and busts Ramona’s balls a bit about why she’s renewing her vows after 17 years and not a big anniversary like No. 20. Eventually, Avery relents and agrees to stand up for her mama. Then the two gush all over the table about how much they love each other.
Countess LuAnn goes house hunting downtown and runs into Cuckoo Kelly along the way. Countess LuAnn is not feeling the apartments she sees and is astounded at how much they cost. One of her quibbles (of course) is space. I remember in Season One, they showed her kids’ rooms and closets, which were the size of a shoe box. The closets in my one bedroom apartment were bigger and they lived in a multimillion dollar townhouse. Countess LuAnn decided she’s not a downtown gal and determines she needs to hie thee back to the Upper East Side.
Countess LuAnn and Cuckoo Kelly come back together with Sonja for dinner and dish. They ruminate on men, sex, marriage and even Max. Countess LuAnn squirms when talk turns to unfaithful spouses and Sonja hints in her confessional that Countess LuAnn never sleeps alone. I don’t think she does either, considering how many times this has come up this season.
The denouement of tonight’s episode was a magazine party hosted by Cuckoo Kelly. Wearing a dress short enough to qualify as a t-shirt, she worried the Housewives would embarrass her with their behavior. Ramona shows up acting as goofy as ever and she sort of apologizes to Cuckoo Kelly for telling her to shut up at the Kodak party. When Countess LuAnn shows up, she decides to confront Mario in Italian about the “Countless” comment and demands an apology. She finally realizes that ship has sailed and gives up. Alex shows up in what amounted to a leotard with beaded fringe and Bethenny’s boobs couldn’t contain their happiness over her engagement.
Jill freaked when she realized Bethenny was at the party and after sequestering herself in a corner with her Blackberry, she finally bolts to the other side of the room with Countess LuAnn in tow. Cuckoo Kelly takes it upon herself to break the news to Jill about the engagement. Now, Jill is in a dither, because she knows if she doesn’t say something to Bethenny, she’ll really come off looking like World’s Biggest Bitch. Class act Jason shows up Jill and Countess LuAnn’s bad manners by graciously asking about Bobby and hugging them both. Countess LuAnn, Queen of the Backhanded Slap, congratulates Bethenny by pointing out she’s doing so even though Bethenny called her a snake. Leave it to the Countess to make it all about her. Bethenny apologizes, I think mostly to get Countess LuAnn off her back. As Jill flits around trying to decide what to do about Bethenny, the Skinnygirl comes to the heartbreaking realization that Jill can’t be happy for her and that she can no longer be friends with her former BFF. In the end, Jill collects Bobby and congratulates Bethenny, who’s turned off by Jill’s gushing over her ring and grilling Jason about how much it cost. The final nail was driven into the coffin that night.
Next week, Countess LuAnn has a make-out session, Alex goes after Jill and Bethenny becomes target practice for the tabloids.