It is incredible how many things a woman can fit into her purse, but what is unusual are the things she chooses to put in it. I myself don’t carry a purse for this simple reason that I don’t have anything to fill it with. I just have my wallet, keys, and cell phone which all fit perfectly well in my wallet. If I wore make-up then I would have a reason to carry a purse, but since I don’t I see no reason to stuff miscellaneous things into a bag just to fill it out.
Often, when a woman puts something into her purse, it is as though that item has fallen into a black hole, thus I consider a purse a black hole. Now my best friend seems to think her black hole is well organized, she knows where her money is and she knows where her chap stick is; inside the case that’s supposed to hold her sunglasses.
This is actually a good and bad thing. Good that she knows where to locate the two things she uses the most, bad because she knows exactly where to locate these items. So she thinks because she knows where these items are she can stick her hand inside of this huge black hole (that looks more like a messenger bag) and dig through all the miscellaneous things inside to find her sunglasses case and put chap stick on; all while she’s driving.
To be completely honest, her driving makes me nervous, for this reason alone. I’m constantly taking her purse away to find whatever it is she is looking for because I feel she is going to crash into someone. Oh, did I mention she has been in two car accidents? This year alone mind you. When I ask what happened and how she was in a car accident, she simply says, “It wasn’t my fault!” My only guess is that she was digging in that black hole of hers trying to find something that she needed to have in that instance and couldn’t wait until she hit a red light to look for it… like chap stick for example.
So what exactly do women put in said black holes? The answer varies from woman to woman, but I have composed a list of the most unusual things I found in my friend’s purse which are as follows:
Empty Tupperware (at least it was clean)
Last weeks snack (in this case it was in the form of an orange)
Hot wheels (she claims her nephew is to blame for this)
Tooth paste (though it isn’t odd, it is when there is no tooth brush in there)
Bottle of hot nasty water
Receipts from a year ago, to a fast food restaurant-paid with cash
Expired coupons (because apparently she thinks they’ll be useable I guess)
A Jehovah’s Witness leaflet (she’s Catholic)
A hand towel
An umbrella (it is August… and we live in Southern California)
An acrylic nail (Now when I showed this to her, she simply said, “Oh that must be from the nail I broke that one time.” What time? I was afraid to ask.)
A spoon (and it was not plastic)
Now when I came upon the rock, I simply looked at it in my hand, held it up to my friend and just said, “Why?” She laughed and just said, “It’s pretty.”
She makes me feel as though a woman will put anything into her purse, as long as it fits. On the upside, if you ever need tooth paste, a spoon, thermometer, or have problems finding a pretty rock you just might find it in a woman’s purse.