Video game accessories have long been a thriving side business in the video game world. Some accessories are useful and add to the game experience, most are mostly a gimmick, and a few are ridiculous beyond words.
With the introduction of motion controls in video games this generation, it seems the accessory makers have lost all shame and the market now has more insane accessories than ever before. Things have gotten so out of hand that to find the list of the worst accessories in history, you can do very well by just looking at one console: the Nintendo Wii.
Cooking Mama Utensils
Cooking Mama is a game that lets players try their hand at cooking different dishes from around the world. To be successful in mama’s kitchen players have to cut, stir, flip and slice using the wii remote to simulate many different kitchen utensils. The game is quite fun, but apparently not realistic enough for the makers of ‘Cooking Mother MaMa Kit’. This kit lets gamers turn their remotes into a spatula, frying pan, fork or knife. How a 4 inch plastic frying pan will add immersion to the game is not immediately clear.
Pega Shark Light Gun
The Wii remote lends itself brilliantly to doubling as a light gun. Nintendo’s own Wii Zapper and Nyko’s perfect shot are both great accessories that turn the controller into an easy to aim hand gun. With such strong competition in the market it makes sense for smaller companies to innovate to stand out from the rest. Pega has successfully done this and they now reign supreme in the ‘guns that looks like sharks’ segment of the market. Unfortunately, this segment has no consumers.
Wii Baby and Me
Admittedly I am not in the target audience for this one, but a doll that you stick your Wii Remote in? That is creepy stuff. The idea here is to ‘bring your baby to life’ with you Wii remote. No matter how much I want to get behind this product I can’t see how this is not just a terrible Wii Remote. Does playing with dolls really get any better if you can do it on your TV?
Wii Bowling Ball
Wii Bowling is a great game. Played in millions of homes the realistic bowling simulation is still one of the best implementation of the Wii’s motion controls. Wii Bowling is also responsible for an enormous amount of accidental clobberings, Wii motes thrown through TV’s and fists showed into ceiling fans. What better way to turn this widely beloved game into a near death experience than the Wii Bowling Ball?
Professional Fishing Pole
The Wii has several fishing games and also several accessories for turning your wii remote into a fishing pole. On a list of this nature any fishing pole accessory would have easily merited inclusion, but in the land of ridiculous Wii remote fishing pole accessories there is truly only one king. The Professional Fishing Pole is a 3 foot long pole that clips on to the end of you wii remote. In my experience, waving three feet long poles around when you have people over for some video games is not as much fun and a lot more terrifying than you would hope.
Nintendo despite all their brilliance are not immune to blunders. In Wii Fit plus there is a game called Birds Eye Bulls Eye where you guide your Mii in a chicken suit onto targets. The game is controlled by flapping your arms like a bird. A bold game design one could say. The worst part of this game by far is that it prompted notorious Wii accessory scoundrels CTA Digital to release a pair of Wii Wings. The Wii Wings strap on to your under arms and are beyond useless. The producers bold claim that the Wii Wings ‘will help you to truly experience what its like to be a bird’ is as ridiculous as the product itself.
I have problems with Wii dart games to begin with. Of all the sports in the world darts must be one of the ones that are most easily accessible to anyone. For a lower price than the game anyone can pick up an actual dart board. So, with that in mind, the Dart Controller just has no place in the world. By attaching a dart feater like attachment to the nun chuck port and a pointed nose cone, you wii remote can look like an over-sized lawn dart. A useless accessory for a useless game.
The Wii has proven itself as one of the best video game consoles ever released. With great success always comes a great torrent of people looking to cash in. The Wii accessories market has gone completely south. This list sadly only scratches the surface of inane products released for the wii.