Some couples like to write their own wedding vows. That is so sweet and so very special. Here in South Georgia, humor is required. Due to the heat, the gnats, the high fat diet, the high air conditioning electricity bill, the lack of much entertainment, other than the woods, the rivers, ponds, dirt roads, beer and ourselves. We have our grits festivals, pig jigs, our rattlesnake round ups and we even celebrate fire ants here. Can you tell that we are a bit bored? Well, just because of that, it doesn’t mean that we don’t fall in love. When we do, we try to make it memorable. Here are some very special Southern wedding vows. Enjoy!
His Vows
I do take only you to be my bride…
Even though, we both know, that you ain’t quite right.
I reckon’ I can always survive…
As long as you will promise to bring me my Bud Light.
Beer and you are my best friends.
Accompanied by you both, the fun never ends.
I will try to always eat whatever you cook.
Just don’t make me look.
I love you more than my best hunting dog.
May we always be able to get along.
You fry up fish so very fine.
That’s how I knew you were meant to be mine.
Never lust after my brother.
Try not to kill my mother.
I will forget your birthday.
Please don’t fire your shotgun my way.
I rarely take off my hunting cap.
You never were offended by that.
I will always go hunting.
I expect you to welcome me home grinning.
When I track mud through the house,
You can’t throw me out.
Fry me chicken.
Your toes, I will be licking.
I may never bring you flowers but,
I give you all of my love.
Though my neck is red, I am true blue.
Never doubt that I love you.
Now, kiss me, you fool.
I do!
Her Vows
I do take you
To be my groom.
I will try hard to
Not kill you, fool.
I know you mean well.
I will try to save your soul from hell.
Always welcome
My mother into our home.
I know it kills you but,
If it weren’t for her, you’d have no love.
Come home to me every night.
Try not to get into a bar fight.
If I ever have to bail you out of jail…
Your precious pickup truck, I will sell.
Keep your nose
Out of my buying new clothes.
Always tell me that I look pretty.
I don’t care if you think so, really.
And could you kiss me, too.
Maybe just once in a blue moon?
Promise to take me dancing.
Learn a little about romancing.
Well hide
All of your porn mags so, I don’t cry.
Remember that you are almost bald.
I take, for better or worse, it all.
I will never be perfect
But, if you treat me well, it will be worth it.
I may not be Miss America, it’s true…
But, I am the only one standing here by you.
Try hard not to drive me crazy.
I will promise not to call you lazy.
Put an arm around me, hold my hand.
I will hold my temper and try not slap.
No, I can’t cook like your mama.
Try not to cause me trauma.
Forever true,
I do.
Amen. They were wed. Forever.
Wedding poems come and go but, I bet you will remember this one. Truth is the root to a good wedding and a long lasting relationship. Southern pride and honesty. Honey, I dew. He does tew. Thank ya’ll for reading. And, they lived happily ever after.
