At the end of the spring, my girlfriend and I prepared to part ways, say goodbyes, and start out own personal necessities in life for the summer. We would be separate for three months, yet still together. She left Austin to go to New York for her awesome Internship at Rolling Stone Magazine. I visited my family, and then returned to Austin to prepare for summer courses. We have kept the magic and spark of our undying love flowing, and still expanding. We do this because we can, and we want to. Here is what I think helps to keep your relationships alive when separated for the summer months, or any length of time at all.
1.) Communication
This is an obvious standpoint for any relationship, regardless of being separated. Good communication is key to keeping your thoughts and needs in consideration, as well as your partners. If you do not vocalize your thoughts, they can breed into negative feelings, and eventually ruin a relationship. My girlfriend and I make it a point to communicate everything we can, in the most positive and fulfilling ways possible. With technology rapidly expanding, it has been even easier to keep in contact, even though she is thousands of miles away.
• Video Chatting
Video chatting on Skype of iChat has been simply incredible. We can see each other’s faces, or anything we want to see if you know what I mean. I can talk to her, and see her expressions and reactions. Studying Psychology has taught me that understanding communication is nearly 60% visual, and the statement of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” isn’t really true at all. Absence actually makes people’s feelings disintegrate, and actually seeinga person’s face cognitively reaffirms their existence in reality to your brain, keeping your emotions for them alive. This is one of the best things to ever happen to communication, trust me.
• Phone Calls
As most couples can attest to, phone calls don’t have to always be about having something to say, it is just the comfort of hearing your partner’s voice, and to speak to them about anything. My girlfriend and I call whenever there is something we want to share with each other. We make sure to share new and interesting things that we find to have sparked interest in our own lives, so that we may share these things with each other. This keeps our lives intertwined, weather we are apart or together at the time.
• Texting, chatting, emails
You do know that in this day in age, we can share anything, instantly! This is amazing. I can send my girlfriend any webpage, article, thought, or picture or nearly anything I want instantly. It is incredible. MAKE USE OF THIS
2.) Affirmations
Simply repeating, “I love you” can go only so far to your significant other. You need to affirm this feeling, show that you care and that you love. Even though you are apart, you need to continue expanding and growing as a couple, as if you were together. Do not fall into monotony! This will make you and your partner bored with the relationship, and it could end bad.
• Surprises
My girlfriend and I like to surprise each other. Weather it be small or large, simple surprises help to show that we care for each other. I bought her new ukulele strings without her knowledge, as hers were breaking. This shows that I care and know about her interests. My girlfriend showed up in Austin this weekend. She took off a day of work and spent four days with me. I had no idea she was coming. This was one of the greatest things anyone has ever done for me, and it was one of the best weekends of my life.
• Words
Words go a long way. I make it a point to let my girlfriend know how much I appreciate her. How beautiful I think she is. How much of a sweet heart she truly is. I make sure that she knows how good of a person she is, and she does the same for me. This makes me love her even more every day. Rhetoric has a powerful effect, when used correctly. YOU have the ability to affect your significant other, to a huge extent, with your words. Choose them carefully, and use this to your advantage!
3.) Trust
Trust is another obvious key to a relationship, regardless of distance. I do know, however, that it can be a bit harder to trust when there is a large distance. Nietzsche wrote about how we as humans can have the most blissful feelings in the world. He said that we must put ourselves in a vulnerable state; one where the possibility of extreme sadness and pain is readily available. This is the state of complete trust. You are vulnerable, but it will allow you to truly experience love and happiness. I promise you this.
There you have it. I know that the summer away from my girlfriend will flow smoothly. We both miss each other terribly, but because we have a solid relationship I know that it will work. She knows this as well, and our relationship continues to grow, even though we are apart.
