Okay – I think, and mind you, this is only my humble opinionn, that too many scientists are sitting around with way too much time on their hands. I firmly believe my “bored scientist ” theory is the only way you can explain the following studies.
The first study determined that when you are depressed you eat more chocolate. In fact, one of the founders of the study expressed it this way, “”Our study confirms long-held suspicions that eating chocolate is something that people do when they are feeling down,” said Dr. Golomb.”
But wait, it gets better.
“The researchers found that both men and women who had higher depression scores consumed almost 12 servings of chocolate per month, those with lesser depression scores ate about eight servings of chocolate per month, and those with no depression had five servings per month.”
Talk about ground breaking research that will determine the course of our nation’s future. But Thank God, there’s more. As if this study wasn’t silly enough, researchers see the need for further studies on chocolate.
“Golomb added that future studies will be required to determine the basis of this association, as well as the role of chocolate in depression, as cause or cure.”
But let’s review another study that further lowers the bar for scientific research. Or should I say further lowers the chocolate bar for scientific research. It seems that if you are a mouse and you are a Chocoholic , you are willing to do anything to get your fix.
Here is what the study showed.
“The researchers first trained well-fed mice and starved mice to seek chocolate in one chamber rather than going into an empty chamber. Then, they added a mild electric shock to the chamber containing the chocolate. Unsurprisingly, the well-fed animals avoided the sweet treat. However, mice that had previously been starved, before being allowed to eat their way back up their normal weight, resisted this conditioning – continuing to seek out chocolate despite the painful consequences.”
Okay – that study, not only brought forth a collective yawn, but won the “What the Hell, Who Cares, You Gotta Be Kidding Award.” Plus the above paragraph is a strong contender for the “Let’s Try To Write A Comprehensible Sentence ” Award
But science moves backward with yet another silly study.
“Researchers at the University of Exeter have found that a walk of just fifteen minutes can reduce chocolate cravings … Professor Adrian Taylor comments: ‘Our ongoing work consistently shows that brief bouts of physical activity reduce cigarette cravings, but this is the first study to link exercise to reduced chocolate cravings’ “
What really worries me is that Professor Taylor refers to it as “ongoing work” which suggests that she is well on her way to publishing another ground breaking study.
This all would be funny but many of these studies are funded by government grants. Which depresses me. Which means that I may have to find a chocoholic mouse to share my chocolate with, unless I take a 15 minute walk to reduce my cravings.
And science crawls on.