This last couple of weeks has not been good for going to the movie theater. When it comes to choosing a movie this summer, it’s more like choosing the lesser of two evils. I had to make this decision myself this past weekend and decided upon seeing the movie “Splice”. After an hour and a half of waiting for something to happen and a lead nowhere plot, I realized that not only was this movie not even entertaining, it was a complete waste of time.
Beware of spoilers ahead:
The story begins with a group of scientists, two of which who are involved in a romantic relationship. This group is working on mixing animal and plant DNA to create a new species. One of our main characters decides she wants to use human DNA to add to the mix, but of course this is considered unethical. Despite her warnings, she convinces her brainy lover (Adrian Brody), to help her splice animal DNA with human DNA.
As this…thing develops rapidly, our female character convinces her lover to keep it alive and watch it live its entire life in a span of weeks rather than years. Now while this may seem like an interesting thing, and it is at first, nothing really happens throughout the movie. We learn that this woman is crazy and used her own DNA to create this thing which explains her treating it like her child. She even names it Dren. If that wasn’t disgusting enough, there is also a scene where Adrian Brody has sex with it. I know, gross. But even after these revealing scenes, nothing really happens.
The entire time I am waiting for this thing to escape from them, become vicious and start killing people in a nearby town. But this does not happen. Instead, after treating it like a kid trapped in a barn, Dren dies and they bury her. But to the two scientists’ surprise, she is not dying, but instead transforming from a female into a male. This male kills all the male scientists around including Brody and rapes the girl, disgusting. She eventually kills the thing, and in the end she is impregnated by this monster. She decides to sell the embryo to science and she can’t speak of it to anyone, end.
Once the lights came back on I sat and wondered what just happened? I’d been swindled. I remember seeing the trailer and thinking this is going to be the new age “Alien” movie. But this story went absolutely in an opposite direction. For a couple of scientists these people were pretty dumb, and it was no surprise that this abomination they created ruined both their lives.
Overall if you are looking for a movie with action and violence, this is not a movie for you. If you want a movie where you are at the edge of your seat, this is not a movie for you. If you are looking for a decent movie with an okay plot this is also not the movie for you. This movie is pointless and will only prove its use if you are planning on taking a nap, or looking to kill time. Do yourself a favor and save ten bucks by napping at home instead.
