When we hear that a couple we know is considering divorce, we usually assume that one or the other of them has committed some terrible deed that gives the other party no option except divorce.
This may or may not be true, but it is often little things that lead to divorce. While one or two little things may not seem significant, a combination of many little things can result in the final decision to seek a divorce.
Advice columnists are fond of telling readers to make a list of reasons why you should stay in a marriage and reasons why you should not. If the “should not” list outweighs the “should” list, maybe it’s time to move on. While most of those who are dealing with a troubled marriage never get around to making such a precise list, somewhere, deep inside, they are keeping one.
Here are just a few things that might find their way onto such a list.
1. Nagging
This one usually finds its way to the top of the male list about their wives, although some husbands are guilty of nagging, too.
2. Putting One’s Spouse Down in Public
This can range from digging little comments disguised as “kidding,” to out-and-out ridicule.
3. Sloppiness
I’m not referring to an occasional forgetting to pick up one’s socks. Sloppiness that gets to the point of bothering your mate is usually far worse.
4. Neglect
Neglect can take many forms. One might be refusal to communicate. (A favorite complaint of wives.) Spending every free minute watching TV or reading rather than acting like your spouse is still in the room.
Lack of caring about a spouse’s concerns; ignoring obvious signs of unhappiness in your mate; not taking care of chores that are your responsibility.
5. Talking too Much
Talk, talk, talk. Some people seem intimidated if there is no conversation going, so they strive to fill every single moment with talk, even when they have nothing meaningful to say.
6. Making Important Decisions Without and Input from One’s Spouse
People who have lived on their own for a while before marriage seem to have more trouble remembering that there is now another person affected by their decisions. They may even get offended if their partner questions them about it, even when the decision may mean big changes for that partner.
7. Spending too Much Money
Spending too much money might mean different things to different people. Financial circumstances my allow partners in one marriage to spend freely while another couple might need to be much more frugal. In the second case, spending even $20 on something the other partner didn’t think was necessary might lead to friction in the marriage.
Those are just 7 of the “little” things that might be eating away at your marriage without you even noticing until it is too late. Take a few minutes today and see if you could be the “guilty” one. None of us needs to wait until an ugly divorce is staring us in the face before we take action and eliminate those “little” things from our life.
