When you have been in a committed relationship for a while, your relationship can seem more like a duty than a thrilling experience. You find that your relationship has become nothing more than a routine that consists of responsibilities and duties. Before you know what happened; your relationship can seem more like a job than an adventure. You may begin to wonder where the passion you once felt went. The bond between you two just may not seem strong anymore. What you have to understand is that the fire is still there. Think about it in this way, a candle will not burn because you wish for it; you have to start the fire for the candle to burn. The same is true for any relationship. You have to help get the spark started. There are many things you can do to help boost the bond between you and your mate. These are the six ways that are my favorite and work for me and my husband whenever we fall into a rut.
1. Date. I know that this step may seem silly, especially if you are married or living with your partner, but it is a wonderful asset to increase romance. You and your partner probably do go out to eat sometimes and you may even go to the occasional movie, but when I say a “date” that is not what I am talking about. Remember when you were just dating and you made sure you looked perfect, you got excited, and you made sure that the conversation was exhilarating and interesting? That is what I mean by dating. Go out dancing, or to a chic restaurant, or to a new play, anything that is not the “usual”. Do not talk about problems with your work or your family, talk about each other. Trust me, after years of marriage I have learned that when the conversation is directed toward each other, you can still learn new and wonderful things about a person no matter how long you have been with them. That is a date.
2. Be Playful. Why not have a pillow fight, or tickle each other until you are ready to cry? When was the last time you had a water balloon fight with your honey, or anyone for that matter? It is okay to let loose and have fun with one another. Playing can keep things interesting and can bring you closer together. Do not be afraid to explore the inner children that live in both of you. They need some time together too. Plus it can also double as wonderful and fun foreplay.
3. Give Little Unique Gifts. I am not talking about a major purchase that can break the bank, but a special little something. That can let someone know that you were thinking of them and that you really do care. Even if you are just stopping at a gas station to buy gas and you see a little keychain with a heart on it that costs ninety-nine cents buy it. It may seem silly but something so small and seemingly insignificant can make your love’s day.
4. Take A Class Together Or Find A New Hobby. This time together can be very important in a world where everyone’s schedule is normally always busy. Have you ever wanted to learn how to ballroom dance? Do it together. Or take an art class and explore your and their creative side. Try a cooking class, or take up pottery. Collect stamps together if you want, it doesn’t matter what new interest you try, as long as you are doing it with each other. This can ensure more quality time together and bring you closer together.
5. Spend Time Apart From One Another. I know this tip may seem strange, after all you want the bond in your relationship to grow stronger, not more distant. But time apart can help a relationship. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you that sometimes just the sight of the person can rub you the wrong way. So make sure you spend enough time together to have a strong bond, but also enough time apart so you do not grow sick of each other. For instance, I went on vacation for a week one year with a girlfriend and when I got home you would think my husband had not seen me in a year. There is a reason that the old saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow stronger.”
6. Sex. This last step can be tough to talk about because it is a very personal thing, but sex can deepen the bond between a couple in amazing ways. It is a gift that you give each other. If you are not having sex frequently enough, or if it has become just another chore, something is wrong. Do not be afraid to explore new things and be more creative. Sex should enhance a relationship more than anything. Talk honestly with your partner about what you like or do not like and listen to what they have to say as well. Explore new things together. Fulfill each other’s fantasies. Your relationship will be all the better for it.