Traditionally, the father of the bride has the honor of giving her away at her wedding. The symbolic act of giving up the place of the most important male figure in a young girl’s life to her new husband has been a very significant part of the wedding ceremony for many, many years. If you are engaged to be married and thinking that you may prefer your stepfather to give you away at your wedding, this article may help you to focus your thoughts and feelings and make your final decision.
Has Your Stepfather Been More Of A Father Figure Than Your Biological Father? Family relationships are complicated and no two father-daughter relationships are alike. If the relationship between you and your biological father has been less than ideal and you feel that your stepfather has been a much more active participant in your life, you may feel that it is much more natural to have your stepfather give you away.
Do You Feel That A Wedding Should Follow Tradition No Matter The Circumstance? If you feel that your wedding day will not be all you dreamed of without following all the traditional customs, you may want to keep the tradition of having the father of the bride give you away. Whether you feel that your father has “earned” this privilege or not, you may feel that above all else you need to follow the customary rule of your father giving you away to your new husband.
Will Not Having Your Father Give You Away At Your Wedding Further Harm Your Relationship? If you are contemplating having anyone but your father give you away at your wedding, chances are your relationship has already been somewhat damaged. Informing your father that he will not be walking you down the aisle may cause a rift that is impossible to overcome. Your biological father may take this decision as you turning your back on the relationship and an unwillingness on your part to move forward.
How Does Your Mother And Other Family Members Feel About Your Stepfather Giving You Away? Family loyalties run deep, long after divorce papers are signed. While your mother may have separated from your father long ago, she may still feel that he is your father and deserves to be the one to give you away. Other family members, especially those on your father’s side may agree and react negatively to your decision. If there is a long history of animosity between your mother and biological father, she may support your decision. Regardless of who agrees with your decision to have your stepfather give you away at your wedding, there will undoubtedly be other family members who disagree. You must prepare yourself to receive negative reactions from certain members of your family. Though you are certainly under no obligation to defend your decision to your entire family, you must prepare yourself to have a steely resolve to other’s negative comments and opinions.
Are You Concerned That You May One Day Regret Your Decision? Once having your stepfather walk you down the aisle, there is no going back and erasing it. For the rest of your life you will see pictures and video of the happiest day of your life and be reminded that your stepfather, and not your biological father gave you away. If you are already experiencing a sense of guilt about the idea of your stepfather giving you away, you may want to give the matter some serious thought before arriving at a final decision.
A bride should completely indulge herself on her big day. She should look back at her wedding as everything she hoped it would be. While she should certainly have carte blanch on what she wants when she marries the man of her dreams, the decision of whether to have her father or stepfather give her away will certainly affect many more than people than what colors she chooses or what flowers she carries. Deciding who will give her away should be given serious thought and consideration before coming to a decision that can not be reversed.
