Common sense tells us that handing out marital advice to a close friend is not the best idea. Many people feel that they know what makes for a good marriage, but the truth is that the definition of a happy or satisfying marriage may greatly differ in definition from person to person. What may work well for one couple may fail miserably for another. While the obvious themes of love, respect and kindness are universal to all marriages that last for decades, what makes one marriage endure while another implodes is often very complication and truly only known and understood by the two people involved. You may one day find yourself in the position of deciding whether to advise your friend to on the cusp of a separation or divorce to give her marriage one last try. This article will offer points to consider before making that very difficult decision.
What Are The Prime Sources Of Difficulty? If your friend’s dissatisfaction or marital discord are arising from issues such as lack of communication, boredom or conflicts with extended family members, you may be inclined to encourage your friend to seek professional advice and counseling before throwing in the towel. However, if your friend is being verbally or physically abused or cheated on, you will certainly be much more inclined to tell your friend that she needs to ensure her safety and physical and mental well being and walk away.
Are There Children Involved? Unless there is abuse present and the safety and mental and emotional well being of the children is at risk, most married couples feel that they should do everything within their power to save their marriage. If your friend has children and there is a chance that the present difficulties can be resolved or the spark can be put back into a marriage that has encountered a rough patch, it is certainly acceptable to point out that the children of a marriage deserve every possible chance to grow up in a happy and healthy home.
Your Advice Could Come Back To Haunt You. If your friend seeks your advice and you encourage her to stay in her marriage, the day could come where she blames you for prolonging the inevitable. Many adults do not take full responsibility for their own actions and try to blame their decisions on others. If she stays in her marriage for an extended period of time and it ultimately ends in divorce, she may feel that by following your advice, it only made the situation worse.
Are You Giving Advice Based On Her Situation, Or Your Own? Examine your feelings for leaning towards encouraging her to stay in her marriage. Are her and her husband your “go to” couple for socializing and you hate to see your foursome break up? Do you wish that you had given your own marriage one last try before calling it quits? Be sure your advice is truly based on her circumstances and what you feel about their future and not based on your own agenda.
Do You Feel Confident In Standing By Any Advice You Offer? How close are you and your friend that you are giving advice? Do you feel that your privy to all of the most pertinent information before encouraging her to stick by her husband for a little bit longer. Remember that marriages are complicated and breakups can be very messy. Before offering your friend marital advice and encouragement to stay in her marriage, be sure that you are prepared to stand by your words no matter what the outcome.