Sharktopus, with a name like that, obviously the movie HAS to be awesome in the worst way possible. Upon the first view of the trailer, it looks like any other terrible SyFy movie that comes out, which is what makes it amazing. SyFy is known for making movies that have terrible CGI effects, terrible characters and all around horrible story lines. I love watching these movies so much. When I actually had cable and watched TV on a regular basis, SyFy was my top choice. Everything on that channel was amusing, especially the original movies. My dad and I would watch SyFy every Saturday morning and laugh at how silly the movies were. So what makes Sharktopus better than any of these movies? Think about it, it’s a shark… and an octopus all in one. That, my friends, is awesome. So here are my top 5 reasons why this movie will be more awesome than any other SyFy movie ever created thus far.
It’s a shark and an octopus… IN ONE
Yep, you heard me. In one. If you thought sharks were awesome on their own, having the jaw strength to crush nearly anything and can nom on anyone and anything they really want, imagine that combined with what the octopus can do. An octopus has these teeth on the underside of their large heads that they nom on their victims, and they have razor sharp suckers. So now that they’ve put together a shark with awesome jaw strength and the ability to swim quickly and then they add tentacles, a mouth on the underside of the shark body PLUS at least a dozen razor sharp suckers on each tentacle which makes it swim even faster? That is a killing machine right there. An AWESOME killing machine.
Terrible CGI
SyFy is known for it’s terrible CGI effects, even in the trailers I’ve seen, you can see these at work. Some of it reminds me a lot of Jaws (you know, the way everyone’s on a beach, someone gets chomped, everyone screams and runs off the beach as the vicious Sharktopus noms on a poor person in the water). The CGI effects include the massive amounts of blood around the bodies that are being eaten as well as… the Sharktopus. Every time it swims around or jumps out of the water and eats someone bungee jumping (yes, it happened), you can tell he’s fake. Look at the Sharktopus, look at the person they’re nomming, they’re totally not on the same screen, you can tell. I love CGI effects, especially bad ones. It makes this movie even more awesome than it was before.
Sharktopus WALKS ON LAND
I’m serious, look at the trailer. The Sharktopus is waltzing around on land on his tentacles like he owns the place. Syfy was awesome before, but now they have made it so that water beings walk around on water? I want to talk to the people that come up with these ideas, because I just want to shake their hands. They have defied all logic with most of these movies, and they love to blame all these freak of nature creatures on the military. All the stories are the same too, some dumb military guy asks for an awesome military killing machine to use again something equally as dumb and then the evil guy makes it and stands by it completely. Usually in these movies they die at the end, being eaten by whatever they made. The good guy is usually a goody goody scientist guy who discovers what’s been going on and needs to put an end to it. The girl he had a crush on is always hot and nerdy.
The Storyline
I haven’t read anything on the synopsis, but I guarantee it’s going to go something like this:
Military decides to make vicious Sharktopus and they try to keep it contained but it gets out of hand. Evil scientist they hire that made Sharktopus is drooling a little because he believes his creation is so beautiful. Sharktopus is then discovered by everyone when it starts nomming on random people on the beach, it drags people into the water, eats their little swimming feets and enjoys it’s cute little shark… octopus existence. A local scientist figures out this is a problem and he recruits this random team (which includes a couple dumb people who get killed off right away as well as the main characters crush who is inevitably attractive). Then comes the many random deaths that Sharktopus causes, each one is more ridiculous than the last one. Eventually they figure out some way that the Sharktopus can be stopped and they formulate this elaborate plan that really *shouldn’t* work but does for some odd twisted reason. Evil creator guy either gets away or ends up going to prison for being the one to not stop the madness. Most of the crew that was originally put together at the beginning of the movie is long since eaten and being digested by Sharktopus, who is now probably dead or been recaptured by the military who of course, will escape in enough time for Sharktopus II: Sharktopus’s Revenge.
Sharktopus Vs Dinoshark?
Upon doing my research, apparently a lot of people are comparing this movie to the Dinoshark movie that SyFy is ALSO putting out. They’re saying that Dinoshark is far more awesome due to the fact that it’s half shark half Tyrannosaurus Rex (obviously this automatically makes it more awesome, but I have to disagree). I’m not so sure if SyFy should really continue mixing sharks with everything else but… well sharks. Obviously sharks aren’t awesome enough without another park attached to them. I think that after SyFy is done pissing off sharks, the sharks will begin a revolt and start eating the SyFy crew for making them seem horrible (and like they can mutate with other animals to create monsters).
Go see Sharktopus. It’ll be awesome, I promise. Just like Dinoshark.
Sources:
Trailer = http://livefeed.hollywoodreporter.com/2010/07/syfy-sharktopus-trailer-video.html
Sharktopus Vs Dinoshark = http://www.scifisquad.com/2010/02/17/move-over-sharktopus-make-way-for-dinoshark/
