How much and for how long do I have to scream “I love you” to my husband? I happen to think that most of us women and not enough men understand what it means when a woman says “I love you.” I finally understand why I, along with millions of other wives get so frustrated and shut off until our glands cool down. I was in a heated argument with my sixteen year old daughter about her boyfriend. Emily said “Mom it’s not your business stay out of it!” All movement in the house ceased, I adjusted my stance and looked at her like she should start running. I said “I love you” with vengeance and retribution in my tone. The oxygen was sucked from the room, the ceiling fan stopped and I saw it in her eyes that she got it! Three tender words carefully etched in her beautiful soul.
I realized at that moment what I have been saying to all of my children since their conception. I love you means, I would die for you and if you were lost I would find you. If you were stuck I would get you out, if we were starving I would feed you first. I forgive you, forgive me please! I expect you not to make the same mistakes I made and most of all, God knows that HE better keep you safe and alive until I die. I love you implies so many things with heavy expectations and unconditional conditions. Emily got it! That’s all I had to say, now why doesn’t my husband understand all the meaning behind I love you?
When I say I love you to my husband it is levied with some of the same feelings as above. For instance, I would die for him too! If he was lost I would Map Quest it for him. If he got stuck I would call a tow truck and if he was starving it’s because I haven’t gotten home from work yet to make dinner. I love you means “Listen to me.” Or “My love forgives your stupid thoughts and actions. “I chose you above anyone else to make perfect babies with.” I love you is the unconditional forgiveness with obvious commandments that can’t be broken. I love you means “Smarten up” and “I need you on the same page as me.” “No matter what, I truly love you for reasons only I know and you don’t understand.”
There maybe exceptions to the rule, but here’s what I think men think when they say I love you. It means “Lets have sex!” I love you means “You cook a decent meal and please forgive me for all of the stupid things I say and do. I love you means “Do you want to have sex with me now or anytime soon?” How about “Do you want to have sex before or after I go fishing?” In spite of his amorous mind, I know this about my husband, that as our fourteen years together approaches with four perfect babies, I love you means “I miss you and appreciate all you do and you’re forgiven for being manic”…”Can we have sex now?”