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Itchy Fish

Remarks from the Peanut Gallery XVII

by itchyfish

I have just listened to yet another ten minutes of short remarks from my president and I sure do feel much better. I was under the impression that we were in a bit of a social and economic dip, but, by golly, I was wrong again. How could one question where we stand with all those impotent head-bobbers surrounding him? Oops, did I say impotent? I meant important. Sorry. ♫ It’s a wonderful day…..♫

Arizona border issues are exaggerated also. I guess those 21 gang members killed in a shoot out twelve miles from the border are nothing to worry about. I dunno, it seems like my president believes that sweeping (There he goes with that broom thing again.) reform will stop the pesky problems of human trafficking, drug runners and murder. He said that the southern border is more secure today than it was twenty years ago, so who am I to argue? And I don’t have to learn a new language or brandish a gun while going to my mailbox…yet.

The Blagojevich tapes would be funny, if they weren’t so telling. How in the world did this guy rise to a position of power to begin with? He can’t complete a sentence without turning the air blue. His communication skills are more disgusting than mine. I think if I were on the hook for what he is facing, I wouldn’t be strolling around fluffing my hair and preening for the cameras, but hey, Mr. Rogers would be proud.

It’s another vacation for Washington. Don’t you love it when they tell us how hard they are “working”? If even one of them broke a sweat over the past year, I’ll vote for them for that one reason alone. Oh, wait, I take that back. We’ve had so many wonderful days on the neighborhood golf course, I imagine there’s been some sweating going on there. I know, all that hard work deserves a break. God knows they deserve it.

I guess the oil spill cleanup is going quite well also. Well, if you consider grease balls covering the ocean and the beaches a good thing, that is. What would Mr. Rogers say to brighten up our thoughts on that? We could turn this whole thing around by dipping the balls in a nice coconut scent and slather the goop on beachgoers as a sun tan lotion. See? ♫ It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood ♫ , if only we look on the bright side of things.

I guess that’s enough about politics. Abby Greenhill must be close to snapping off a molar by now, heh heh. Sorry Green, but news-wise, you can’t swing a cat without bumping into a political issue. Speaking of cats…I think Goddam ran off. She hasn’t been the same since she got hit by a car and lost the ability to swish her tail. The vet said she’d probably regain the use of it, but so far, nuthin. It drags on the floor and someone is always stepping on it. Poor thing. So sad. I’m really gonna miss her….

♫ It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood…♫

Related

  • Remarks from the Peanut Gallery XVII
  • Remarks from the Peanut Gallery IX
  • Remarks from the Peanut Gallery X
  • Remarks from the Peanut Gallery XI
  • Remarks from the Peanut Gallery XII
  • Remarks from the Peanut Gallery XIII
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