What’s the deal with the dust up about some kids wearing patriotic duds on Cinco De Mayo day? Doesn’t Cinco De Mayo celebrate freedom? I’m a bit sick of oversensitivity, politically correctness, and ethnic pride tromping on American patriotism. Yeah, I know the school thought the display of American flag tee-shirts and such might cause some potentially dangerous altercations, but doesn’t that in itself bother people? I’d like to see someone tell me to turn my American flag shirt inside out or go home.
Our Homeland Security Director got a little pissy when asked about the Arizona border security and why the government seemed to be ignoring the problem. Janet got a bit defensive and eventually, if you listened carefully, you could assume she was telling us that she knew every inch of that border. Uh, yeah…and….?… (You didn’t really expect an answer, now, did you?)
Mother’s Day is tomorrow, and the nephew and I are collecting money from the kids for their mother’s and grandmother’s dinner at the Olive Garden, which is the extent of elegant dining we dare descend upon until the kids stop with the fistfights at the dinner table. The nephew thought it would be a great idea to let the kids feel the pinch of coughing up their own cold hard cash for Mother’s Day. He said “we” could pick up the rest of the tab if they run short. So far, the eldest and her SO have contributed very generously, but not so much from the little guy and the middle child. The little guy told me Gram stole his wallet, and the middle child had donated several snarls, a constant whine, and some pocket lint.
The cat, Goddam, has almost completely recovered from being hit by a car. She doesn’t yowl when she walks, and has ventured as far as the neighbor’s barn. The vet put her on morphine, and by the time we were through carrying her around while dressed in full body armor, I considered stealing her medication. The only long lasting injury we notice is her tail. It just hangs and swings freely. The kids mentioned how sad it was she couldn’t move her tail. I said I was very sad about that too, since I couldn’t swing her around by it anymore. (Just kidding, you cat lovers!) The eldest head slapped ME!
The dog Trouble got into some trouble the other day….again. He just got back on my good side after stealing my nuts, when he decided it would be fun to play on my computer. He did a little dance on the keyboard and deleted an unsaved document it had taken me hours to write. He must have realized he had committed a mortal sin, because he then booted up the Simms and took off, thinking I would blame the middle child. The middle child saw the whole thing and told me what really happened.
Is anyone as amused by Barney Frank as I am? I’m wondering how many more people he can find to blame for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Don’t get me wrong. I love Barney. Whenever he appears as a guest on television, I grab my coffee, my e-cig, and four or five bags of peanuts. This guy is a national treasure. I’m looking forward to his debut on Dancing with the Stars.
Did you hear that people in Iceland are selling little bottles of volcanic ash for hundreds of dollars? I call that brilliant. Carpe Diem! I think I’ll head on down south and collect some oil. Speaking of the oil spill, I can’t wait to find out what this mess is going to cost us. I guess it’s a good thing we’ve got that giant untested cap thingy that might work. Actually, I think Bush did it. I suppose in fairness, I should lob a half a peanut at him. Sure, he caused the mess, but at least he has forced us to consider planning a little better for the next one, don’t ya think? Maybe we could tweak our current terrorism prevention plan and use that as a blueprint. You know, the “Don’t offend anyone and hope nothing happens” one? We could call it our “Jeez, hope this doesn’t happen again” plan.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you mother’s out there! (Heh, heh. I’ve always wanted to say that.)