Relationships are a tricky area, often akin to trying to walk a straight line through thick knee deep mud!
What are the keys to a good relationship?
Communication is vital. You must, from those first ‘courting’ days, talk about anything and everything. Establish that open communication. And as the relationship progressed do not under any circumstances ever stop the communication. It does not matter how stressful your job, how tired you are, how bored you are, you must continue to communicate. If the communication stops…it is very hard to resurrect it to its former glory.
Communication is conversation, it is not ‘I want this’, ‘I need this’, ‘you are not doing’, ‘you should be doing’. It is open communication, talking about how you are feeling what you thinking. There is nothing more fatal to conversation that ‘That’s stupid’, or ‘just do such and such’, or ‘why do you put up with it’, or any other such ‘I am giving you the solution to the problem’ kind of response. Don’t kill the conversation, nurture it, participate, listen, share. Be understanding of where the other person is coming from. Be compassionate. Be fully present and truly listen to what they other person is saying.
In a world of texting and internet … the art of conversation is not doing well! It is time it had a come back!!
Daft as it may sounds, sharing chores is really important. Talk about what chores you like or hate. It’s not fair for one person to always have to do a chore they hate. Hated chores should be shared week about. Share the chores in a fair way. If there are some chores that you like but your partner hates, then you may be happy to do those chores. If there are chores he likes, but you hate, then he can have those. Fun chores that you both like can be shared week by week. Cooking duties should be shared. Believe it or not, after 25 years of cooking the meals, some wives have had enough!
Gardening could also be a shared duty, and if you both have a say in what vegetables are grown, you each have to help in the gardening work. Why can’t you have a competition to see who can grow the best or the biggest or the most? Why can’t you have two vegetable gardens? The beauty of vegetable gardening, or indeed any gardening, is it gets you outside, in the fresh air, and it gets you working together.
Time with friends.
At the beginning of the relationship you will have introduced your new boyfriend/girlfriend to your friends, and a relationship then began to form. He or she became an integral part of your social circle. When all the partners get along, this can provide some really great social occasions. There is nothing worse than one partner who doesn’t get along with everyone else. For this reason, you benefit from seeing how well your potential partner wits with your friends. This can play a big part in the longevity of the relationship.
Make sure you also still have time with your friends without your partner. You each still need time with the guy/gap pals.
Relationships take commitment. It does not matter how tired or stressed you are, never eve take your relationship for granted. Never be complacent.
Nurture. Communicate. Share.
[ Robyn entered the international Next Top Spiritual Author competition, and has progressed to Round 2. To get to Round 3 she is asking you to read her proposal and/or chapter and if you see merit: vote! www.nexttopauthor.com/?aid=566 ]