When you’re in a relationship there will always be high points and low points. Trying to maintain a healthy balance of being in the middle of high and low will help make your relationship strong.
Finding out you’re pregnant is supposed to be one of the happiest times in one’s life, though it depends on how the relationship was before you got the news. Once the baby is born, your relationship will forever change. The first few weeks, hell the first few months, will be hard. During this time the baby is adjusting to it’s world outside the mother’s womb. Sometimes their days and nights are confused, some babies have colic, and some just seem to be inconsolable. This experience will be stressful even if your new baby seems to be doing great. Relationships often see a decline in communication, bedroom activities, and patience once the baby arrives. Luckily, there are some ways to try to avoid the ultimate stress and enjoy both your partner and new baby.
Make Time Every Night For Each Other- One on one time is so important after the birth of the baby. Mom usually is feeling emotion and often times depressed. Whether you choose as a couple to have dinner together, just sit and watch some tv on the couch together, or lay in bed and just talk, this will make a huge difference in overcoming the stress of a newborn. Of course you will have to adjust your time together around the schedule of your baby, but that is easy to do. This is the number one most important step in surviving the first few months with a new baby and keeping your relationship healthy.
Have Some “Me” Time: This is important for both parents. Mom will be home all day with the baby (at least for the first six weeks) while dad is at work in most cases. That does NOT count towards your “me” time! When dad gets home from work, he should be prepared to let mom do her own thing for a little while, even if it is only to take a shower. In return, mom should be prepared to let dad play his video game or anything else he wants to do for a little while without depending on his help with the baby. This step gives each parent a little time to regroup and get mentally stable again, especially if it was a rough day/night with the baby.
Get Baby On A Schedule- Easier said than done for sure. If you can manage to at least get some sort of routine down for your infant, you will know what to expect. This will help decrease the stress level both parents feel and allow them to predict what will happen next. Often fights between parents occur due to lack of communication and sleep deprivation. With a schedule you will know how and when your baby will sleep (for the most part anyways) and will give both parents time to adjust to the habits of their baby.
Accept That Post Partum Feelings Happen: This is a huge one! Alot of men and women alike seem to be in denial about a mother with post partum. Every mom feels some sort of loss when her baby is born. Whether its the loss of the movement from baby or a number of other things, it is indeed real. A mother suffering from post partum can be irrational, irritable, weepy, and a number of other things or all of those things. It is important for dad to support her and let her know she is loved. With the support of her partner, post partum should be dealt with better.
When Arguing Never Use The Baby As A Pawn- This is more for the parents that aren’t yet married. Stress can set of arguments between partners and leave one or both feeling very hurt. At this point the mom is sensitive and the dad is just beginning to take in the baby. When you are fighting and threaten things like taking the baby and leaving or fighting the other parent for custody, it can make a seemingly minor argument into something much bigger. Whether you will or won’t stay together is ultimately up to the individuals themselves, it is never okay to use the baby as a weapon.